most of my ex bfs dun like the way i care for them.... tt's why most of them left.. and i left some because i know that they dun like being controlled or i would never be able to care for them... cuz they just dun get it... so 1 after 1 i try to change... i try not to be so naggy... not to control them... i dun exactly control them... i just dun wan them to do certain thing not because i'm a spoiler or i'm no fun... but it hurts them... and it hurts me even more.. even if it doesn't hurt me, it hurts their family... but they just dun get it... so i keep thinking it's me.. so i really wanna change.. but seems like it's not working.. i'm doing it to my bf now.. SHIT!! i dunno if he's regretting anything... or feeling unhappy about it.. but i really want us to work... want it so badly that i dun exactly know what i should do and what i shouldn't.. his friends probably think i'm a prick or something... so for bringing this further to the next stop, i'm telling my bf this.. do wad u think is right and if it makes u happy cuz if u r then i'm.. but just one thing, if u gonna do harm or u know that it might hurt, bring me along. - this is an order!

I LOVE YOU BRYAN HO!

una niña muy afortunada

sorry guys.. bear with the big photo of me.. lol.. i can't seems to shrink it.. but i think it doesn't really matter.. cuz the girl in the picture is so pretty... LOL

anyway, i had the most wonderful week since last sunday.. totally love it!

revolutionary...

did i mention that i cut my hair before christmas? it's not 10 inches shorter... !! 10 inches!! i cut my hair so that i will see a change in my life. A better one i hope.

so many things happened recently.. or rather it happened so god damn long ago but some bastard just can't get over it and wanna bring it up again.. the worst part is, this guy is older than me!!! he should behave more like his age but instead, he is behaving like all the other girls at the workplace - childish! OMFG! i really pity him to get himself into this sorry state right now.. he actually sms-ed all my friends who are also his friends as well to let them know that i'm a liar.. haha.. i'm sorry to say but he had just gotten himself to even more shit because not everyone knows but he sms-ed everyone. Now some of them must be wondering what's wrong with him because i did not mention anything to them. Yeah! answer is CHILDISH la! LOL!!

then next problem.. a problem that i wanna tell the whole world.. so that they can help me solve.. but people look at me like one kind when i try telling them.. LOL.. like that how to tell people my problems.

Seems like what my mum said is true, there are many problems in the world. but not everyone is fit to know your problems because they themselves can't even solve their own problems.

someone told me this earlier : "I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care, I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there, I'm not supposed to wonder where you are and what to do, I'm sorry I can't help myself, I'm in love with you."

today my fortune reading says i need to keep quiet.. and that's why i have been doing the whole day.

back to mugging!

2010

It's year 2010!!! N my name is still jaslyn. Quite a few stuffs changed since 2009.

Firstly, tons of my friends are either engaged or married. I guess at around my age it is pretty normal.

Secondly, my siblings have grown so much in terms of character.

Thirdly, my life changed as well. I rmb the start of last year I was actually playing a lot. Treating each day like every other day. But this year is different. Looking at how much time I had wasted and looking at people graduating 1 by 1. I feel so retarded. How did I became so dumb?

There are some stuffs which did not changed too while some are undergoing changes for more improvements. Therefore I sincerely hope for a better year.

My new year resolution is...... Make myself happy with whatever I do n to cherish everyone who loves me and are always around me to give me any form of support.

Happy 2010 everyone!!!

REALLY REALLY VERY FRUSTRATED!!!!!!!

When was the last time i posted an entry?? 10000 yrs ago?

why am i being treated like that? why must you lie? why must you hide? why must you purposely ignore?

ever since ur company started, you and i became even more busy.. you busy with "trying" to earn money and i am working very hard to earn money. but however hard i work, i always keep some time for you. i make sure i will meet you if i know we haven't been meeting for many days. you say you miss me but cannot see me. i think it's all bull shit.. if i can make the effort to go down to your house regardless of the journey, regardless of the time and regardless of the taxi fare i have to pay, why can't you do the same? i'm not asking you to do the same. but if you miss me, dun make it sound like i am too busy to meet you. because one thing for a face you know that it's you. You are too lazy to travel to meet me. You only want people to revolve around you but you never want to do that, even though you thought you did.

After a whole day of busy work, i would call you hoping to have a little chat with you longer while waiting for bus or something. but it never happens. However, after your "busy" day at work, i always hear you going for a drink and going for late night supper. Now you know why i complain abt the longer chat i want? It never happens because you are too busy playing with your friends.

The next day after ur late night out you will give me an attitude as if i've disturb you for a whole day, chiding me "didn't you know i work until very tired?" but you know what?? Actual fact is you went home late. Too tired or drunk from all the playing and drinking then you wanted to sleep in late, but blame on my stupidity for calling you at the wrong time while you are still having all sleep. Then when you are all awake, you rush to go out to work again, because this time you really have to go studio for REAL work but you are gonna be late or late. Again, you will start to blame everyone around you but yourself. I would just say it's the bad luck of those people who speaks to you at that point of time. Their bad luck for speaking to you and getting scolded for no reasons. Then when you reach work, you will start thinking that you got not enough time to work or whatsoever. But the actual fact again is because, you spent more than half the time sleeping and only left with that much time to do whatever you have to do for that day. So who can you blame?? Then you reach work so late, so ur excuse of going home late again is inevitable.

Even though ur scoldings or black face after you wake up is not as often anymore, but other stuffs are getting worst.

Then also if you don't want people to disturb you, you would off your phone. But i seriously don't think you should do that to me as well. cuz i'm your gf. I'm not stupid. I can understand and piece stuffs together. If you can see, i'm starting to give up. Not bothered to meet you as much. cuz i see no worth anymore. I dunno why am i still holding on to whatever and taking whatever nonsense you are throwing at me.

And also the girls... i definitely have my reasons for being unhappy with the girls around you. You should know it the best. Thru'out this 3 years with me, what have you been doing? what are you still doing? i know. i'm not blind. i just keep quiet and be ignorant. But there's a limit to everything. i hope you do know that. I also hope you do know how many chances i've given you. which girl can actually be so forgiving to boyfriends who cheats on them. You may think "cheating" is a big word to be used on your case. But i can tell you it's not because replying to a lovey dovey sms from other girls using lovey dovey words are bad enough. Enough to hurt your gf.

You know why i didn't give up on you? Because i thought you could change. and thought you would change after awhile. I thought it was just like for the first few months of the rship that you would still be that "playful" but apparently i was wrong. There wasn't any improvements as all. I'm tired.

I'm not saying that only you make all these mistakes or only you are wrong. I err too. I have times that i may nag too much that maybe you cannot take it or times that i may be too demanding that you cannot take it. But i don't think these reasons are good enough for you to go around playing.

Seriously reflect on your time, your attitude and your work, your driving license, your company, your studies, and most importantly your life. Cuz everything stated above is part of your life now.

7 habits ot effective people ---- i hope it will help SERIOUSLY

Been busy... still working at the American Club. Fun.. The kids are quite adorable too. Not all though...

many things happened. Major and Minor. But all not worth mentioning. Except a particular thing. I didn't go Thailand in the end.

Firstly because H1N1 still spreading.
Secondly because i am not some irresponsible people who only thinks of having fun all the time instead of going to NDP practice.
Thirdly becuase i want to compensate myself by earning more money to go on a better trip.

Better still. Now i am one step closer to my Europe trip which i promise to bring my mummy there.

AND I HAVE NOT BEEN TAKING CAB MUCH!!!! Compare to last time when i still take cab everyday and everywhere, now i take bus no matter how long the journey is, i get up on time to get to places i need to go and only take cab when it was raining. and it only rained once in the past few weeks at my area. So i saved even more money! Hoo-ray for Jaslyn!

i have not watch transformers. so feel like watching... seriously.....

just minutes ago, i bite my tongue.

*some contradictions in mind. should i carry on or stop everything, before it gets even deeper. so deep that i might die? i'm starting to feel tired.*

Irritating!

Ya la... everyone is wrong... except you....

helping out others... to you... is also wrong.. you just continue to keep trying to find 1001 reasons to diss others businesses... just continue to try....

get a life man...