yippee... it's mummy's birthday today... wished her happy birthday but she doesn't seems to happy... why can't i have happy parents like others... happy and loving... it makes me sick seeing them always getting all so uptight over unneccessary stuffs.

but doesn't matter.. she's still my mum afterall.. just wish her all the best in the coming year.. and i know what she will wish for.. -a tai tai life she used to had-

tho she's not complaining about her being the solebreadwinner of the family.. but sometimes it hurts me to see her working so hard for us when my good-for-nothing father is getting all so lazy to work... or prolly only to me he's a uselss bum...

anyway... went to swee li to get baby his guitar strap.. din know which one he would like.. in the end took like an hour to decide. then decided on a red one.. looks a bit ah beng tho.. but it suits him la...

then went to school, supposed to go to SCC clubhouse to find baby to borrow his guitar with matin... then somehow went in and got a shock... my heart str8 away broke into pieces.. din know what to do, how to react.. so i finished what i had to say and walked away... as i promised, not to kick a fuss or scream or whatsoever anymore. then went to bandroom... couldn't help it and cried. then hazmi and mat was trying to console me silently. decided to follow matin to convention centre then baby called asking me to meet him. everything was cleared... no more misunderstandings and no more of these gonna happen again. surprisingly i wasn't very agitated. i was just heartbroken... u r the only one who can mend it back.

then after that percussion ensemble practice started... feels kinda better and happier. anyway, i finally can follow the score better for S&S. but still need more practice. and Peter Gunn is nice. baby joined in the fun too!

tml would be SCC concert. gonna be watching with mat only i think... supporters of baby... =) fillet gonna be on stage playing i think and ashraf, fadz and zrain gonna be busy with sound and lightings.

by the way for those who r reading my blog and knows that Desmond is my bf and u like him regardless of girl or guy... lemme remind you again.. (GUYS: he's not gay, cuz he has a gf and tt's me) (GIRLS: he's attached and not available, so dun try anything funny). he's all mine and i'm all his... tt's it...

-ilovedesmond-

today was a long day for everyone.. regardless of fun or work..

1st stumble today was waking up on the wrong side of the bed to get all so sensitive... then it's over.. everything is fine.. i know.

then gone down to meet matin. supposed to be helping him choose a gift for someone he like... but his criteria a bit weird... lol... he wants a mushroom pendant.. where do i find that kind of pendant dude. =)

then hazmi and aloysius came to meet us and we decided to watch "Night at the museum". freaking funny... but that was the only show with the best timing for us to end in time to meet the rest who supposed to join us later at Seesha... show ended around like 5 plus... realized Zrain is sick, Fadz caught Zr's virus as well... then both din help out at SCC today... then baby was still busy with his rehearsal and stuffs.. so knew that the chances of them coming is very minimal...

so four of us decided to head down to arab street first... had our meals while waiting for cheng liang to join.. then aloy went of for his sec sch party = gay party(you know what i mean)...

they made this out of my food.... i finally know what's this called = Foul with Harrissa and Hammus














then seesha-ed and stuffs then head on to esplanade... then saw some pre-event for a marina countdown event. it's actally signing your name and your wishes and resolutions on a ball.. which would be let off @ Esplanade river...





this is the river with the some balls let off already...

and these are what we wrote on the ball...





This is what matin wrote..

and this one below is written for Baby and Me...


Too bad we gonna miss this let off.. cuz we are performing for a countdown event!!! darn!!!.. nvm.. as long as baby accompany throughout... we still gonna have fun... plus all the BB people..

Baby Rocks!!!

i love you baby...

anyway... the behind part wasn't that good already... the day ended with all the blardy on-call cabs.. making me wait in the rain for more than 45 min... damn it.. hope i wun get sick...

-lovemyselfandu-

haven't gone home for 1 day.. and feels a lil dirty.. wore back the same clothes... but doesn't matter =D

ytd went over to Zrain's workplace = starbucks... ate and drank at no cost. =) everything was nice. then went to find baby to go home... dunno what was the purpose but i still did... tho there was no purpose but i think there's a reason why i would accompany him... simply becuz U (DESMOND) is an addiction. it's like nicotine. one day of not having nicotine, blood will rush very vigourously, then symptoms of headache will show... but u know what? it's a good addiction... =) it means i can't live without this addiction.

Baby is busy with his annual concert on coming saturday... but the thing i feel like doing is just sit down there and get ready with the things he need. e.g he needs food, it'll be there... basically it means, i'm willing to see to his needs... say i'm dumb. However, i wonder why he seems to be a different person in front of me when he's with his fren or alone... or prolly i think a tat too much. (gurls... sensitivity... but can't really blame them cuz they need secure and loads of love).

today stayed in school for awhile then gone to ACER with Hazmi... his lappy screen is a disaster!!! the screen cracks from one end to another end... and cuz he dun wan his dad to know that he dropped the lappy, so he brought it to repair center himself but he wants his dad to collect on behalf of him cuz the dad will pay... It's nearly $400/- exploitation =D then went to IMM to get food for baby...

dunno what kinda feelings stirred in you when u knew i bought food for you even though it's cold (isn't my fault (= ) and baby, can i have the feeling of being wanted? realized that u haven't answer a single thing whenever i asked u a question thru the blog. sometimes, things spoken in writing could be better plus i'm shy. =)

hm... haven't wrote this long for quite some time. it's now 1.34am and i'm feeling sleepy... so off to lala land...

-i love baby desmond-

by: your lifelong property

MERRY X'MAS Everyone!!! =P

it's the first day of christmas.. =) and my true love sent to me... a happy holiday for me...

just came back from Rasa and KL... it was tons of funs... and a lil of arguements too..

but everything is fine and our hearts are closer.. u said it too... photos will be uploaded soon... i hope..

din felt like leaving u.. din felt like going back.. everything was like just ytd... so fun...

went from a average apartment in KL, Damai to a 5-star Hotel in Shangri-La... photos deleted... unreasonbleness in me i guess... a lil fussy.. a lil princessy... but i know baby still loves me as much... or prolly even more... =)

i hope thru'out the whole trip u have been taken care of by me very well. lemme know if i did? =)

*baby... sometimes i might be very unreasonable.. but u know i wun mean anything i say when i'm angry... cuz u know i love u... *

today was the most adventurous day for bus rides... SBS gonna lose a lil this month... me and hazmi took 7 bus just to get from TPY to Sembawang BB's Camp.. and it's damn "ulu"

went there to perform for the visual care organization kids... organization for the needy children...



This guy is performing magic show for the kids... he is one kind of a lame and could sense that he brought joy to the kids...







before that had prata at Jalan Kayu... it's super not nice... guess why... (went to the wrong one!!!!!!)

if u can see... all the sweetener on the tissue prata... OMG!!! Diabetic man.














overall was damn fun.. and did i mentioned that the kids are cuteeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! i want one toooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

and look at this...

okie.. it's not cute or adorable. but doesn't matter... =) youth gonna be over for me soon so must be daring... =P i gonna be AUNTIE!!! LoL =P

the day ended by going to Macs @ KAP as usual to have my corn cup...

-u bring me sunshine after the rain-

Promised u people more photos. Finally uploaded photos into my lappy... -_-

-Baracuda Batucada at the Nokia 80s Party in Shangri-La Hotel-
-17th Nov 2006-



Hazmi and me getting all self-obssessed



Dinner before show started at Macs



Carved ice with fruits and fondue dip on it... OMG!!!! higH!!!



EWWWW... me and Xiao Hui holding the slimmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyy snake.



This are the 3 ladies giving away free ice-cream.. now how does that sounds??



i know i look spastic. dun commentttt









-Baracuda Outing at Cafe Le Caire @ Al Majlis-
-2nd December 2006-




Zrain n Seesha



Me n Seesha

promised you guys photos... =)

Hazmi's and his group event. >FunkBLasT<



Kinda dark but this's Halfestride! With Matin on Drums, Fillet on Jembe, Fadz on Bass Guitar, Ashraf on Lead guitar and Ros vocalist!!!!



This is Halfestride with Hazmi and his group.



This is of course Baracuda with Hazmi and his group.

It was a tiring but fun day!!!

been a long time since i've updated the blog... sorry ya... been busy with Common TesT and finally it's over... but din have chance to rest much... had percussion ensemble practice and i can't play the mallets well... LOL! sorry conrad... i'll practice. then later at 2pm gotta be in school to prepare for Haz's event. supposed to be enjoying with ah beng and frenz at sentosa.. sorry ah beng =) tml still got baracuda performance at somewhere... but i dunno where... =) feels so tired easily nowadays... i wonder why... and tummy's growling again...

-gone to get food-
-miss baby-

it's been so long... or rather, my blog a lil stagnant.. but guess it's gd once in a while.

many things happening. quarrels, happiness, anxiety, exhaustion, sadness, anger... all so overwhelming... feels like everything was just ytd.

I love everyone who is always there for me...

esp. ah beng... =P desmond ah beng for everything...
imzah... =P hazmi for his jokes and ur free concert ticket... (cheapo) lol
mich... =P for listening to my woes...
matin... =P looking at the past when baracuda just started (lol)

anyway, went to watch hazmi's concert ytd with matin, chengliang and fauzi.. sarah and beatrice were there too... loyal supporter of hazmi. lol! then went to eat satay. EXCITED! ate satay first time.. and mutton taste better than chicken... =)

then someoneeeeeeee say i from some mountain............ u know who u r... =P whahahah... (sarah... not u...) lol!

anyway... have been mugging for exams... then went got too stressed, all i need to do is just think of u, and everything is fine... u really made me feel complete...

had some other negative problems too. the point of no return... sorry.

*gd luck and all the best to those having exams this week!

-u've created an angel in me-

had a wonderful day today.. =) everything was fine.. tho project meeting was screwed up, but i couldn't care less. cuz i know i wan to do it well... we din get our chance to present, cuz went to NUS and orchard for field trip with Miss Rajoo. NUS was about some nobel prize and we still had to pay to go in.. It's 1 buck. lol but it's alot to a poor girl like me =P nevertheless, had some fun and boredom too. guess nobel stuffs not my kind of things. then head down to town ard 6 plus to just look at how the corporate world in the heartlands of singapore communicate with their loyal customers. u know how? by looking at how they display their products in the display windows. LOL!!! this whole trip was kinda tiring tho. =) NP should provide the damn shuttle bus for us cover ALL cost required =)

took some photos with the girls. shall upload it asap i promise

-i love you baby, u make me feel complete-

I created a Slide Show! Check it out!

hectic week... ytd had baracuda outing and meeting.. went to arab street to eat... mine was something like "foul de harissa and mu...." lol. can't rmb... took photos but can't upload but promise that i will upload it soon. then had Seesha.. oOoo. it's strawberry flavour.. decided to watch movie at first. (Tenacious D) but fillet can't watch. M18. Then i suggested to go Maestro Bistro to eat ice cream but fren wasn't working, thus no discount. Cheapos! lol! then went to have Swensens instead - Sticky Chewy Chocolate - WeEts!

got home ard 12.45 or 1am. can't rmb. felt very exhuasted.

u know, sometimes u can be the one making the initiative to sms me or call me, i'll be around. and what kind of time restraints would u have, u have no more exams, no more worries, no ccas, I HAVE!!! i perservering and waiting....

Baby, i miss you, can't wait to see u soon!!!

-Drifting Away-

dun even know why am i blogging now... alot of stuffs were in my mind... then when i open to "create posts", everything is gone... or rather i dunno where to start from...

for once today i dun have to wear formal to school... NO PRESENTATION TODAY!!! -yeah- but doesn't mean that i got no more projects...

now slacking in clubhouse... time to slack a lil... exhausted.. wants no disturbance at this moment except to sleep, surf net and read blogs...

hm... then realized something.. then again... nvm... prolly just me being too overly sensitive... gonna have baracuda soon... but no one's here yet... wait wait wait...

i'm here and he's there... wonder what is he doing now... is he having fun? or r girls (esp. her) flocking ard him... hm... nvm... i trust him... and i know he bu hui dui bu qi wo de.

-so near yet so far-
-miss you-

u r not the only one who is tired... u r not the only one who is sensitive.. u r not the only one who feels unfair... u r not the only one..........................

taking me to this heights then telling me u r gonna throw me down... is that u?

anyway... wanna thank my sister for getting me my new eyelash curler.. really love me.. thanks girl...

-dead-

Lets hope today will be a fine day for me...

-Miss u Baby-
-yawns-

tears just keep flowing and flowing... everything is so blurry... so tired... need U to hold on to me...

so much stuffs to do... so much projects... haven't even started revising... i really dun wanna retain.. maintain my average results...

i dunno what else to do le... i'm on the verge of breaking down... then the things U say, makes me feel even worst... not i dun wanna hold on to it dearly... but at this moment i can't give u what u want.. i'm really so busy... just hope U would say u understand and tell me it's alrights... and that u will be there for me regardless of what... but u didn't... tell me what to do...

dun wanna do things i dun like.. dun force me to do things that i dun like... u know i dislike piano... getting my grade 8 was torturing enuff... i dun wanna continue even further... u can't understand me...

Baby... Hao Xiang Nian Ni... Hao Ai Ni... Ni Zhi Dao Ma........

-breakdown-

wanna run away from all these.............................................................................................................

-tired&loved-

had a pretty long day... and fun...

someone actually kept his "promise" and really came down all the way from BP down here to have breakfast with me early in the morning... hhahaz...

friggin' warm morning tho... then went for tax lesson... then i was suppose to present tutorial question 1 --> roleplay!!! (not what u guys think if that's what u guys r thinking)... it's just a roleplay between me and my classmate Simon... i supposed to be tax consultant advicing him if he can qualify for whichever eh... i dunno what... haha... my tax is super horrible...

then after school went to PS to get my dinner and sim card... yeepiieee... i got my sim card back... but NO PHONE!!!... hur hur... sorry if i whine alot.. but i really miss my phone...

then head back to school for baracuda practice... super fun as usual... and had a few new members... and i played bass.. hahaz.. happiezzzz!!!!

as usual gone to macs to slack... (rhymes eh) lol! then head for home...

-please take care of urself.. u r sick!!!-

tired... for the first time... i'm doing tax tutorial.. whahhaa... thanks to u... =P must be guai guai de... actually this is the second time i'm doing my tutorial...

3 more weeks to ExamsSSS.... stressSSSS and more gigs coming up... Sh*t...

just had a gig at Marina Mandarin... for some minister... can't rmb his name.. Abdullah something... whatever.....................

his wife was my fren's previous principal... cOoL... LoL!!

had some time before show start so went to play pool, i lost to kooch... win ton Hazmi.. then played mahjong... =) hahaz... went back to our holding area to realize it gonna be delayed for 30 more min or so, so the guys decided to play games... hahaz..




fun and tired... as usual.. slack at maCs then took a cab home...

-my night gonna end here-

doesn't u know he has a gf already?... have limits plsssssssss...... dun provide disturbance to others... some people are just liddat.. cannot keep their hands on themselves... wanna prob into others... or wanna separate others... blardy hell....

and the rest pls SHUT UP!!!! cuz it doesn't concern u at ALL!!!!... since u already wanna tell me then just say it... dun ask if i'm interested to know or not... but i prolly already know what u wanna say... so save it and get a life!

it's freaking tiring... all the projects, tutorials and stuffs are killing me!!! so gonna break down soon... jus need someone to be there holding on to me right now...

needa get back my sim card ASAP! after the top-up, i'm left with like a few cents... darn it... can't friggin' control my usage...

why is my heart beating so fast?....

stupid jaslyn... stop thinking so much...

u know it's nothing...

argh!!!!

Thanks for everything baby... u were gr8 and u r still gr8...

if i didn't meet ur expectations, then i'm so sorry...

be proud of me =D

*hugs*
*going on and on forever*

my darn phone has been lost for friggin' more than 8 hrs... i wan my phone back...

so gonna get screwed by mummy...

argh!!! first time i ever lost a f***ing phone... the phone was only with me for only like less than 6 months la...

sorry guys.. the captions with the pictures are wrong.. just figure it out urself.. lol

woah... busy busy busy!!! just got back home from camp at time now is 2.42AM!!! freaking exhausted.. but everything ended nicely, beautifully...

BB was gr8... everything was successful... had fun in camp with those guys.. and NRA was cool...

During Camp. . .



Me working on my project during camp



Wondering what this is? it's the lights without the metal casing --> whatever u call that.



Ops!! cheng liang got hit by the metal casing.



hahaz. gotcha... it was Zrain who hit him with it. Poor Cheng Liang...



and this is hazmi when he woke up i think.. =P



Me and Xiao Hui after putting all the make up...



can u see my hair!!! it's white =)



While waiting for out event. . .




There are actually alot more.. during rehearsals and stuffs.. but too lazy.. so ya.. =P hahaz...

-love u peeps-

yawns.. having this boring lecture.... the way she tok... kinda monotone... no life at all.. makes me feel so sleepy...

today had to cab to school due to :

1) heavy lappy
2) heavy bag with full of clothes for fri-sun
3) heavy shoe bag
4) light drizzle
5) sprained ankle (again!!!)
6) painful back (after effects of op)

nevertheless, i still got to school at 8 plus, the earliest thru'out my poly life i guess.

take off or continue landing.

lookedintothemirror

dunseejasanymore

seeasadlilgirlstaringatme

sheisnotglowinganymore

makeherglow

letherknowsheisnotalone

letherknowsheisbeingcherished

thankstothosewhocherishesher

shineonbaby

knowucareandimattertoyou

-glowing-

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! curb! curb! curb! curb! curb! curb! curb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dun show it dun show it dun show it dun show it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

today was fun at first... then went to take a bus home... in the bus, saw this couple quarreling, then realized that i'm so lucky. cuz we din quarrel today. felt unwell in the bus too... now still not well...dunno why... anyone who reads my blog prolly can offer to accompany me to doc =P or i hope i'll feel better soon.

why are we created with feelings? i wish i had none. but i can't otherwise, i wun feel how i am feeling now --> emo, pek chek, happy, confused.

KOKA Black Pepper Crab Instant Noodle is fantastic!!!! had tt for dinner...

is it me who pushed u to the limits.. if it is, then i got nothing to say except sorry... cuz u were the one who said okie to me at first... it wasn't me who forced u to go out with me...

accept me for who i am, just like how i am accepting u. u want things this way, i have taken it... and am okie with it. i really dunno what to do already. tell me pls... ni zhi dao wo de xin li hai shi ai ni de. nan dao ni jiu bu neng jie shou zhe yang de wo ma?

-depressed-

at a moment, i was really wishing tmr would come soon... but it's okie.. nvm.. it's okie already... nothing would change it..

c i w w i

u z a s n t o r t h t
f u t p s t f m

o r o a n g e h h e m o r e

i dunno why, but it's okie.. no one's to blame this time.. cuz u promised them first.. there's always other days to go out... the only thing that u can do is a sms to me with a hug in it.. if within the next 15 min i receive it on my phone, i will feel alot better, and prolly forgive u for being forgetful and giving me false hope =)

Rondeau 21 is over... everything was a success... shall further update the ticket sales with u guys next week... (provided i rmb) lol

ytd watch dvd until i fell asleep... but slept happily, cuz i finally got to see him... omg.. machiam like drug... but it's a healthy drug i hope.

now! time to catch up with school work... tmr is WISP project.. and i have to search for articles, edit ppt slides and stuffs... if it wasn't for u, my work wouldn' have progressed this fast... thanks!!!! treat u to makan next time.. =)

okie.. gonna continue reading the articles.

-dun worry, be happy!-

this is me... the side of mewhich seldom people would get to see.. know why?



cuz i dun wear cap!!! lol =P

it belonged to my fren who's in ns now.

i'm having my nails done now.. vain pot = me.. hahaz.. but it's okie, it's no crime.

it's my last concert in VCH... tho the sales is not up to expectation, i believe, we would still put up a good performance.. gd luck and have fun everyone.. =)

what's wrong

was trying to post up some photos.. photos with me in a way, u would seldom or never see... but i tot it was nice...

hm.. saturday is the big day.. come and support!!! =)

-love u-

argh

hate being busy... i wan lots and lots of time now...

GROUP projects is piling up... prolly i'm too used to the time when we 3 would always do work overnight at either your hs or your hs. tt's why, asking me to stay after school now to do project feels so tiring and all. I dun like online discussion. Work can nv be done well, cuz there's no proper communication. no offence, all these are how i feel and my preferences. i know u people got your own preferences too. tt's why i'm not gonna comment on anything in front of you guys... dun wanna have disagreements within the grp. i have cca unlike others, so they could have all the time to do projects and stuffs. but i don't. Then when i sacrifice my weekends to do, the rest can't, cuz they have other "commitments". Whatever it is, i just wish myself to pass, and not more.

today band prac and baracuda practice clashed, but we had permission to go for baracuda practice, cuz our show is on next sat. OMG!!! so much gigs, performances and school work, can barely take a breather. except weekends. so i shall fully utilised my weekends to play and rest and more importantly ===> U

today i did a "practical test". i was so tired in tutorial today then i suddenly think of U, and ta-da! i'm damn awake. so now i will use U to make myself awake. lol! sounds so wrong.

i just now took out my notes to study in the bus on my way home, then when people of my age grp boarded the bus and walked near my seats all looked at me as if i'm being alienated. lol!! wonder what was wrong.

and therefore, i shall end here by saying.............. me wants to break free from all these, especially projects.

-shag(i know it's a wrong word to use but it sounds more impactful)-

1) OMG!! i love my company law tutor... today is my first tutorial with her... but she sarcastically nice... and u know she's joking and making us learn at the same time...

2) i miss you alot. did u too?

3) this girl is tutorial had to present but she wore such nice tops, such nice bottoms, then she wore TRAIL Slippers... so wrong!

4) i have to see the director of BA later at 4pm about my incident... tot my incident ended like long ago... hope she dun waste my time...

argh

me here again to tell everyone how i felt just now and now... -jealous-

well... shhhhh.... nvm.. keep in my heart... and for those who gonna read my entry... (tot she was still sick... SHOULD rest...........)

anyway, today felt super tired... been this busy before but nv this tired... and painful... duh... the back hurts... carry my Tuba and felt kinda pain... then played Joyful Exclamation for the whole night only.. been slacking.. but still hurts.. guess i walked too much today... but nvm.. overall is alright i hope..

concert is this coming saturday... at 6.30pm... as u can see, the details are here for u guys to contact me and buy tickets from me... $10 for stall and $12 for circle seats... it's Nov 4th... my last rondeau concert with my band at Victoria Concert Hall.. hope those who are reading my entry right now can help to boost my ticket sales... it's demoralizing as a ticketing office to see less than 35% of tickets in total sold... even though i'm only playing for the last half of concert, but it does not mean that i wanna play to a 1/3 filled hall... this time round due to the o levels exams, my own ticket sales is bad... normal for me if i sold more than my own tickets.. but i can't even finish my tickets this time... hate it... i nv like to lose... and band members, surprise me and hazmi at the next ticketing update with more tickets sold.. dun think u guys wanna play to empty hall...

anyway, after everything, as usual got bullied and teased by the same usual people.. always the limelight. lol.

-hugs myself today-

bored

was too bored just now and decided to take random photos..



if u guys can see, it's my charmy kitty with earrings. she just got it recently.



closeup of the earrings.. it's real!!!



this was what i was doing just now... duh! isn't it obvious, i was studying...

left with this only...

me, u , he, she, they, we, them, all, bahhhhz...

too bo liao...

gonna go back to the horrible home...

tmr got blardy school.. hate sundays... then still have band...

and i need money..

who wants to give me...

-ke lian de jas is super broke and dread school-

...

ni zhi dao wo xian zai hen xing fu ma??? =P

-xing fu xiao nu ren-

how long have i not blogged??

hm...

been alil busy these few days... in and out of hospital... with this and that.. then now back, waist, butt, aches quite a lot... this is prolly one of my worst nightmare ever... but anyway, it's over.. gonna get accident claim... so happy..and the school gonna change the way the stairs is for me.. lol.. and thanks everyone for their care and concern, esp. fauzi... *thanks*

hm.. just learnt how to play MAX TUNE and i love it!!!! thanks to mr noti boy... it's a bad cum gd influence.

hm... was actually quite happy blogging stuffs... but then... oh.. nvm... didn't mean it tt way...

it's alrights... wo zhi er deng ren wu... shi ma? nvm...

today was fun anyway... as in 25.10.06 (evening only)... -love u alot still...-

i'm just a girl...

wo zhi shi yi ge hen ping fan de nu hai zi... wo zhi shi yao yi ge neng gou rang wo xing fu de gan qing... dan shi wo de bu dao... wo zhen mei yong... wo zhen mei yong... wo xiang lian ni.. ni dao di zai na li...

where is my superman..

now i start to hate the song "because of u" by kelly clarkson.

everything she sang seems to be describing me... i wanna be the same me... i wan my superman... i need my superman... i felt like a jerk now.. bit time jerk...

*pls gimme sometime to prove it to u -_-

i thank u in advance for giving me the some time...

living corpse

every moment seems just now i just felt like a living corpse...

every moment when i wasn't concentrating... all i could think of was me going away soon... maybe then u would be happy... someone would be able to replace me esp after what happened today... i'm more certain every girl can replace me... this time i know u wun ask me to stay anymore... cuz i shattered every single bits and pieces of ur heart... and trying so hard to mend it back it's difficult.

but i still hope u will ask me to stay... i pray... for ur love, ur forgiveness, ur words to make me stay... u know the reasons why i'm leaving again...

sorry if i'm selfish...

fuckedlah

i hate her...i hate her... i hate her...

once people make her pissed off... she will be like "k fine, i'm gone"

then people will go por her... wtf manz... i dun care abt tt.. tt's her prob seriously...

but which part of me getting jealous u dun understand? i guess it's the part of u going to HER place and i'm jealous u dun understand...

yah... i'm UNREASONABLE!!!!

scold me!!!! get pissed off with me!!! attitude me!!!! but i'm liddat...

i'm a sensitive whore...

just lemme die k... doctors wun cure me... cuz i'm beyond cure... it's the jealousy sickness that can't be cured!!!!!!!!!!

-_-

read ur blog and didn't knew that u were so unhappy... i just dunno how to keep u happy... everytime i view ur blog... i would see her testi for u... i nv had one from u... see.. i'm treated so differently... prolly u dun think so... but i feel so.. girls are liddat... sensitive bitch, crazy bitch, emo bitch...

ranging my mood 1(being the worst)-100(being the best)... mine today is -80... so my mood can be worser from being the worst... 1st is was u who couldn't go for the outing.. forget it.. know u have to study.. gotta be understanding... then next was him who replied me "see how la, that movie boring"... and i hated the boring word when he knew the main purpose was to go out make new frenz... so all i did was "whatever la... fuck off.." yeah.. alil rude.. but i'm liddat...

but really whatever lorz... sch's been tiring to me... still not getting to the lecture mood still... i know tmr gonna be much sianz... but heck care...

alrights... end here...

oh no...

OMG!!! i MISS u so muchHHHH!!!!

staying or not...

i said i will stay... but still until the last min... i still wun know... but i just wan to be treasured and cherished more... tt's all i ask for..

suddenly have the feeling of someone letting me go... tell me why...

untitled 4...

oh god... me misses u alot..


anyway... i didn't abandon u... sorry if i made u think tt way... maybe u tot that i was very evil already.. maybe u r thinking why am i not taking care of u this time when u r sick and i'm still going out with frenz... and u know why already... or maybe u still dunno...

nvm... it's me...

Shen Ming Zhong De Mei Yi Ge Ren...

came across a very nice email... =) for pple like me who gets angry easily... and for pple who always likes to win in quarrel...



*if it's too small click on it to open it bigger =P

-pleasant day- with a wait of 2 1/2 hrs...

tell me how...

today... we had a lil arguements, or rather eh... dunno how to put it... once in cab... once just few mins ago...

firstly didn't meant to be rude...

secondly didn't meant to ignore...

whatever reasons i have... doesn't seems to be accepted... or maybe no one wanna listen... cuz everything from me is unimportant... i dunno...

sometimes... i could just break down then wonder why am i doing all these... my answers are blurry already... i nearly couldn't figure everything out anymore... tell me how... no one appreciates... even if they do, they dun tell.. they dun show.. and i nv know...

it's difficult.. i feel like i'm being pushed away and no one is pulling me back... i'm slowly drifting away... further and further..

can i just end it here...? mylife...

-menses day1-

i'm a human plsssss

he totally forget abt my feelings.. i was just merely saying..

and he just said bye and ignored me... XIAO QI!!!

i'm a human too pls.. i always have to make sure u dun angry... why? why can't it be u the one who give in abit... now wanna say gdbye to me... u said u care for me... what abt my feelings!!! did u????? !!!!! it hurts k!!!

the start of a new day...

it's a very dead sunday... nothing was done and dun feel like doing anything... woke up with tears in my eyes... again... nightmare reoccured again... and it seems so ridiculous... tot it would have stopped then... let's hope tonight i will have a peaceful sleep... or just let me die in my sleep, so that i wun wake up in cold sweat and whatsoever...

went to have my hair cut... i look so ffffugly now... or rather only i think so... gonna visit cyn in awhile... she's suffering from a lil depression now.. why frenz ard me all have problems de... oh NVM...

-hugs&kisses22-
-jmissyouj-

OMG!!!!

This few days were super happening!!! lotsa gigs, lotsa funs, lotsa laughter, lotsa tears, lotsa everything...

had a gig at Miss Earth Singapore 2006 and it was damn cool.. for the first time we had a table on our own... and we were served food!! gd food!!! but i guess the guys didn't quite like it... cuz it didn't fill their tummys =P





Smoked Salmon with i dunno what...



Wild Mushroom Soup with Bread Crumbs



Cod Fish with Mash Potato at the bottom



Creme Boulee --> dessert... it was horrible actually

then took photos with all the pretty girls.. with their heels they make me feel so short and all my photos has pimples!!! it's the period of the month... and so ya.. i'm ugly...





one of the 17 contestants... guys, dun drool...



One of the Host --- i think his name is Nick??? a DJ or VJ i guess...



This is Nadia and us... a VJ from MTV...

that nite went to MOS too... it was fun but not that fun.. in the end got drunk and had to disturb someone's private time.. wanted to see him so badly too... i wonder if he did feel that way...



In Pure room... to see other photo... go to - http://mkop.com.sg/ -
-----------------------------------------

Ytd nite till this morning was with hui, monk, fire, jay, darren, wu gui, sebastian together... and happy, unhappy things happened... i cared too much abt other's feelings and neglected mine... in the end i'm the one to get hurt... wanted to move on.. then realized... he didn't ever left my heart a single bit... but overall.. the whole nite was fun and tiring...
-----------------------------------------

then just now had a performance at the SAF Yacht Club (honestly speaking, i can't pronounce the second word) =P

it was another unforgettable gig... cuz of NICK SHEN!!! my GOD>>> he's so Cute la!!!!



This is NICK SHEN!!!! =) ooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOhhhhhhhhh.......





Can u Spot me? =P





Yeah, it's S R Nathan and Mrs Nathan... --> anyway, what's her name?? =P

So Basically it's liddat... and everything was good... i guess...

-Hugs&Kissesto22-
-jMissyouj-