lil'jasSycrowning

2010-02-18T01:25:00.003+08:00

most of my ex bfs dun like the way i care for them.... tt's why most of them left.. and i left some because i know that they dun like being controlled or i would never be able to care for them... cuz they just dun get it... so 1 after 1 i try to change... i try not to be so naggy... not to control them... i dun exactly control them... i just dun wan them to do certain thing not because i'm a spoiler or i'm no fun... but it hurts them... and it hurts me even more.. even if it doesn't hurt me, it hurts their family... but they just dun get it... so i keep thinking it's me.. so i really wanna change.. but seems like it's not working.. i'm doing it to my bf now.. SHIT!! i dunno if he's regretting anything... or feeling unhappy about it.. but i really want us to work... want it so badly that i dun exactly know what i should do and what i shouldn't.. his friends probably think i'm a prick or something... so for bringing this further to the next stop, i'm telling my bf this.. do wad u think is right and if it makes u happy cuz if u r then i'm.. but just one thing, if u gonna do harm or u know that it might hurt, bring me along. - this is an order!

I LOVE YOU BRYAN HO!

una niña muy afortunada

2010-01-25T17:22:00.002+08:00

sorry guys.. bear with the big photo of me.. lol.. i can't seems to shrink it.. but i think it doesn't really matter.. cuz the girl in the picture is so pretty... LOL

anyway, i had the most wonderful week since last sunday.. totally love it!

revolutionary...

2010-01-13T16:53:00.003+08:00

did i mention that i cut my hair before christmas? it's not 10 inches shorter... !! 10 inches!! i cut my hair so that i will see a change in my life. A better one i hope.

so many things happened recently.. or rather it happened so god damn long ago but some bastard just can't get over it and wanna bring it up again.. the worst part is, this guy is older than me!!! he should behave more like his age but instead, he is behaving like all the other girls at the workplace - childish! OMFG! i really pity him to get himself into this sorry state right now.. he actually sms-ed all my friends who are also his friends as well to let them know that i'm a liar.. haha.. i'm sorry to say but he had just gotten himself to even more shit because not everyone knows but he sms-ed everyone. Now some of them must be wondering what's wrong with him because i did not mention anything to them. Yeah! answer is CHILDISH la! LOL!!

then next problem.. a problem that i wanna tell the whole world.. so that they can help me solve.. but people look at me like one kind when i try telling them.. LOL.. like that how to tell people my problems.

Seems like what my mum said is true, there are many problems in the world. but not everyone is fit to know your problems because they themselves can't even solve their own problems.

someone told me this earlier : "I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care, I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there, I'm not supposed to wonder where you are and what to do, I'm sorry I can't help myself, I'm in love with you."

today my fortune reading says i need to keep quiet.. and that's why i have been doing the whole day.

back to mugging!

2010

2010-01-03T03:15:00.001+08:00

It's year 2010!!! N my name is still jaslyn. Quite a few stuffs changed since 2009.

Firstly, tons of my friends are either engaged or married. I guess at around my age it is pretty normal.

Secondly, my siblings have grown so much in terms of character.

Thirdly, my life changed as well. I rmb the start of last year I was actually playing a lot. Treating each day like every other day. But this year is different. Looking at how much time I had wasted and looking at people graduating 1 by 1. I feel so retarded. How did I became so dumb?

There are some stuffs which did not changed too while some are undergoing changes for more improvements. Therefore I sincerely hope for a better year.

My new year resolution is...... Make myself happy with whatever I do n to cherish everyone who loves me and are always around me to give me any form of support.

Happy 2010 everyone!!!

REALLY REALLY VERY FRUSTRATED!!!!!!!

2009-10-27T00:30:00.003+08:00

When was the last time i posted an entry?? 10000 yrs ago?

why am i being treated like that? why must you lie? why must you hide? why must you purposely ignore?

ever since ur company started, you and i became even more busy.. you busy with "trying" to earn money and i am working very hard to earn money. but however hard i work, i always keep some time for you. i make sure i will meet you if i know we haven't been meeting for many days. you say you miss me but cannot see me. i think it's all bull shit.. if i can make the effort to go down to your house regardless of the journey, regardless of the time and regardless of the taxi fare i have to pay, why can't you do the same? i'm not asking you to do the same. but if you miss me, dun make it sound like i am too busy to meet you. because one thing for a face you know that it's you. You are too lazy to travel to meet me. You only want people to revolve around you but you never want to do that, even though you thought you did.

After a whole day of busy work, i would call you hoping to have a little chat with you longer while waiting for bus or something. but it never happens. However, after your "busy" day at work, i always hear you going for a drink and going for late night supper. Now you know why i complain abt the longer chat i want? It never happens because you are too busy playing with your friends.

The next day after ur late night out you will give me an attitude as if i've disturb you for a whole day, chiding me "didn't you know i work until very tired?" but you know what?? Actual fact is you went home late. Too tired or drunk from all the playing and drinking then you wanted to sleep in late, but blame on my stupidity for calling you at the wrong time while you are still having all sleep. Then when you are all awake, you rush to go out to work again, because this time you really have to go studio for REAL work but you are gonna be late or late. Again, you will start to blame everyone around you but yourself. I would just say it's the bad luck of those people who speaks to you at that point of time. Their bad luck for speaking to you and getting scolded for no reasons. Then when you reach work, you will start thinking that you got not enough time to work or whatsoever. But the actual fact again is because, you spent more than half the time sleeping and only left with that much time to do whatever you have to do for that day. So who can you blame?? Then you reach work so late, so ur excuse of going home late again is inevitable.

Even though ur scoldings or black face after you wake up is not as often anymore, but other stuffs are getting worst.

Then also if you don't want people to disturb you, you would off your phone. But i seriously don't think you should do that to me as well. cuz i'm your gf. I'm not stupid. I can understand and piece stuffs together. If you can see, i'm starting to give up. Not bothered to meet you as much. cuz i see no worth anymore. I dunno why am i still holding on to whatever and taking whatever nonsense you are throwing at me.

And also the girls... i definitely have my reasons for being unhappy with the girls around you. You should know it the best. Thru'out this 3 years with me, what have you been doing? what are you still doing? i know. i'm not blind. i just keep quiet and be ignorant. But there's a limit to everything. i hope you do know that. I also hope you do know how many chances i've given you. which girl can actually be so forgiving to boyfriends who cheats on them. You may think "cheating" is a big word to be used on your case. But i can tell you it's not because replying to a lovey dovey sms from other girls using lovey dovey words are bad enough. Enough to hurt your gf.

You know why i didn't give up on you? Because i thought you could change. and thought you would change after awhile. I thought it was just like for the first few months of the rship that you would still be that "playful" but apparently i was wrong. There wasn't any improvements as all. I'm tired.

I'm not saying that only you make all these mistakes or only you are wrong. I err too. I have times that i may nag too much that maybe you cannot take it or times that i may be too demanding that you cannot take it. But i don't think these reasons are good enough for you to go around playing.

Seriously reflect on your time, your attitude and your work, your driving license, your company, your studies, and most importantly your life. Cuz everything stated above is part of your life now.

7 habits ot effective people ---- i hope it will help SERIOUSLY

2009-07-09T00:06:00.003+08:00

Been busy... still working at the American Club. Fun.. The kids are quite adorable too. Not all though...

many things happened. Major and Minor. But all not worth mentioning. Except a particular thing. I didn't go Thailand in the end.

Firstly because H1N1 still spreading.
Secondly because i am not some irresponsible people who only thinks of having fun all the time instead of going to NDP practice.
Thirdly becuase i want to compensate myself by earning more money to go on a better trip.

Better still. Now i am one step closer to my Europe trip which i promise to bring my mummy there.

AND I HAVE NOT BEEN TAKING CAB MUCH!!!! Compare to last time when i still take cab everyday and everywhere, now i take bus no matter how long the journey is, i get up on time to get to places i need to go and only take cab when it was raining. and it only rained once in the past few weeks at my area. So i saved even more money! Hoo-ray for Jaslyn!

i have not watch transformers. so feel like watching... seriously.....

just minutes ago, i bite my tongue.

*some contradictions in mind. should i carry on or stop everything, before it gets even deeper. so deep that i might die? i'm starting to feel tired.*

Irritating!

2009-06-15T00:27:00.001+08:00

Ya la... everyone is wrong... except you....

helping out others... to you... is also wrong.. you just continue to keep trying to find 1001 reasons to diss others businesses... just continue to try....

get a life man...

Wasted....

2009-06-14T23:11:00.003+08:00

always have no time to update my blog... was busy with school, exams, etc, etc.

Hols just started and everything is going well.

But the recession is kinda hitting me badly. No money. no job for 2 weeks. finally gonna start work at The American Club next week onwards.

upload some pictures for you guys to see what i've been doing for the past few months.

Out with baby to Mr bean cafe with all my pretty and handsome friends too

M.A.C Cosmetics from baby for Birthday this yr. esp love the hello kitty eyeshadow!

Celebrating my 22nd birthday at all abt eve

Playing "Jenga Xtreme" with my sister - look at how excited she is =)

Going Haw Par Villa with Baby. =)

2009-02-25T19:12:00.002+08:00

for the past few hrs, i've been sitting in front of my laptop, reading love stories and editing photos. Just found a website which does some work like photoshop. And it's free.

www.picnik.com - real cool

feeling damn down now... no appetite, no mood to study, pain in the tummy.

my mind tends to run wild...

other that doing all these nonsense, i'm also filling up the form for Drumzout Competition. My band is going to join Drumzout 2009.! Coolness! And i'm still negotiating abt the transport for my band's gig this sat with the logistics person... so irritating..

okie, blog later... gonna go rest my tummy and watch tv!!!

Thoughts...

2009-02-20T16:14:00.002+08:00

Just think for a moment... sit down comfortably, no anger in the mind, no hatred in the heart, no distractions from any form of sources... just think... was it fair? or should i used the word-biased?

Weigh the importance... unless in the heart, there wasn't any importance in the first place.

Being fair was the issue that was being argued about, but when one side put in effort to stop... the other side started it all over again. So, what was those arguements about again??

Only those words meant for those people.

Then again, maybe it's the sensitivity issues... just like cold food with bad gums. But gums get better after visiting the dentist for cleaning and washing.

-tata-

Tons of updates...

2009-02-09T23:51:00.005+08:00

Been kinda busy and not in the mood lately.

Am i just too idiotic or the rest are even worst? I guess the rest are even worst. They do not know the true meaning of friendship, and i realized... some weird beings become inhumane (maybe not so serious, just heartless maybe) as they grow older. I'm not saying the majority but rather just some weirdos. Maybe their definition of friendship means "i do know you, and when we say 'hi' and 'bye' to one another, it simply means that we are friends and we are having a friend-relationship". Sorry to say but that definition is wrong.. You are too superficial. Go 'wiki' it @ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship. Don't be lazy. I've even linked it up for you. It's just a click away to understand the true meaning of friendship in words. (In action, don't even bother. understand the words first)

*Just for fun - If you feel too bored with the website, feel free to browse the rest of the words at the side of the page. Guys would probably be interested in some words such as concubinage & courtesan.* LOL

On the lighter note, i just had a nice dinner and movieee with baby on sat evening. =) Bride Wars was awesome!! It's really a show for the best girlfriends in the world. It's played by 2 of the hottest actress in Hollywood - Kate Hudson & Anne Hathaway. Touching yet cheeky.

4.5 stars for the movieee!

Just celebrated my youngest sister's birthday ytd. I guess she's the luckiest of us all. I won't even bear to get myself a crumpler for my birthday, but i bought it for her. Baby chipped in $50 bucks too! Had Teppanyaki with family then the usual cake-cutting ceremony.

Awwwwwwww... so sweet... =)

Alright... tt's abt it.

*i love being with you, even just for the shortest time*

Busy Busy Busy

2009-01-21T22:11:00.003+08:00

Everyone's been so busy... everyone seems busy... everyone's really busy...

things change... things happen... things turn-around...

It's never your wrong... cuz it's always all others...

speaking to thee... it's difficult... thou find time... or thou's not interesting....

2009-01-18T22:08:00.003+08:00

Went to Chinatown today with mum and bro...

all the nice spots in chinatown and the crowd.... OMG....

Outside YUM CHA... Yummy yum yummm...

My bro trying out new year clothings... and i secretly took this shot...

my mummy explaining to this idiot what's that orange thing...

He's tired... (too fat)

Looking at the Modern Muah Chee

Yes... my fav...

Hahaha... the uncle damn funny... tot i taking him... so no shame...

The day ends when i head to my nest...

I NEED A BREAK...

2009-01-04T23:19:00.002+08:00

oh god... whole of last week was freaking crazy...

monday morning - classes till 3pm/buy pants
monday night - VD prac till late

tuesday morning - Calling for transport
tuesday night - VD performed at St. James till late

wednesday morning - collect van/top up diesel/buy cashcard
wednesday night - VD performed at Fort Canning/Clarke Quay till super late

(the story between countdown night - wed to 1st day of new year morning - thurs: we were having the best PUNK RoCK SHOW ever!!! then i got lost for nearly 45 min after leaving Cuba Libre. Until Fadz and CL found me waiting by the Van for them. Then i broke down. Then we left to pick the rest up which in turn Baby shouted at me. then he broke down too... he was worried. Then Haris closed the boot of the van too hard the key broke into 2 pcs. and we got stranded there till tow truck came... then FAD studio keys' with Jia Hui and she went HOME. Baby, fadz, haris went to collect the key from her at Bukit Panjang. the rest sat outside the studio waiting for them. they came back with a PT. Sent some home then the rest waited till 8.30 to get home)

thursday morning - still stuck in studio
thursday afternoon - collect the duplicated keys from the guy who rent us the van/ went back studio
thursday night - went Night Safari to visit Siraj and have disgusting bongo burgers/pick CL to have supper

friday morning - open door for electrician/accompany mother to bring Jenson to first day of school. (he's a freak - Tallest)
friday night - went town to meet CL, Lala, Isaac, Ben to have dinner then drink and drink till late

finally saturday, i can have alone time with my baby!!!

Loves him alot...

okie... i go webcam with baby le!! =)

Only for my One and Only

2008-12-29T01:31:00.001+08:00

2008-12-29T00:07:00.005+08:00

Just like celebrated Matin's birthday on 26th Dec.. damn fun... we made our own bbq pit - with aluminium tray and wire gauze... supported by the shopping baskets from Carrefour... and one of them caught fire and the plastic melted...

look at the pictures and you will know how much fun we had...

working hard

larris as usual -camwhoring

putting out the fire

haris in funny sarong

the pretty voodoo members

2 hot babes and a funky guy

this photo was for fun.. the vespa belongs to Zarin... and i love the colours... it was worth the $$$

fadz trying to be cuter than me... *kidding*

for more photos - please visit my facebook @

http://www.facebook.com/editphoto.php?aid=66085#/album.php?aid=66085&id=545197702

my baby have been using 'Breathe Right'

and it really helps alot... how it works i really dun understand cuz i didn't use it... but he really doesn't snore at all at night...

So people who snores alot can try using it...

2008-12-17T02:51:00.002+08:00

i been not able to sleep lately... and alot of things on my mind.. am i just thinking too much?

time management screwed up...

UOL just got my email regarding my study guides... thank god! i am not so concern abt the study guides actually.. but more like concern if i can still take my exams... cuz i do not wan to be kick out of school without knowing and it's not my fault that i didn't receive any letters from them...

Read this story baby... it's just like me and you...
Romantic Stories

Love u so much...

Another Slee[less Night...

2008-12-11T03:01:00.005+08:00

it's 3:04am in the morning now and i'm still f***ing awake!!!

i was kinda pissed when i got home to see the laptop charger which i've just gotten like less than 1 month ago melted and there was a visible hole. When i ask my mum, she said she help me to charge after using it, cause it was low batt. Guess what, she told me she charged it the whole day !!!! that explains why... then i started to sob and shouted at her... i know it's my fault... but i just want u guys to understand now why i do not want to let u all use my laptop, cuz u f***ing dunno how to take care of it... what if it exploded or what if my laptop was the one which exploded???

(something's wrong with the picture - click on the image to see the clearer and bigger view)

*breathe in* *breathe out* *breathe in* *breathe out*

Justin's now sending me Nightwish --my favourite!
and i'm sending him his recording photos...

was like reading some friends' blogposts... some so emo... some so in love... some so pessimistic... and some with no feelings at all...

Read a girlfriend's blog... and she has all the acronyms of each word at the end of each blog post pretty obvious it's for the boyfriend... i think you should just type out the whole feelings instead... because if you wan someone to know how u are feeling just let the person know straight, whether it is written or spoken. By doing that, probably he wouldn't understand... i learnt this by experience... i did what u r doing in the past, in the end, it ended up with more misunderstandings... Speaking the truth hurts, but hearing the truth from others hurt more...

Reading all these blogs, (not trying to be an idiot) i realized sometimes i'm really not as unlucky and as unfortunate as many others.

Now i'm going to lie on my bed, play my 'cooking mama 2' and try to get some rest...

my new 'toy'

2008-12-10T23:46:00.004+08:00

i got a new DS LITE!!!! a pink one!!!

super happy.. baby bought it for me... a surprise and early christmas present.. =) so sweet!!!

totally love it!!! and it has my favourite game... *Cooking Mama*

gonna go salivate over it!!!

ta-ta....

Gigs.Gigs.Gigs.

2008-12-08T00:53:00.005+08:00

Been super busy the past 2 days...

A healthy person supposed to get 8hrs of sleep each day... but i got like less than 8 hours of sleep the past 3 days...

But it was fun... had 3 gigs within 2 days... travelled a fair bit... and kinda like a little bonding session...

We kinda had an illegal gathering at baby's old house on sat night after performance so that we can travelled together to our next performance on sun morning 6.30AM!!!!! It was kinda awesome cuz everyone was like super tired... but still did alot of stuffs together...

Had KFC and Mcs.

Eugene was like the first guy to sleep la!

then the rest slowly dozed off after umpteen times of failure attempts to try getting Kung Fu Panda DVD to play. it just refuses to play and keeps hanging at the exciting parts! darn!!!

Then siraj was like waiting for people to go out with him to have a walk or something which he then fall asleep soon after... then larris and fazwan then decided to go out to have a walk but seeing siraj is asleep they decided to wait for him to wake up... all the waitings.... haha =)

and LARRIS!!!! OMG!!! he talks freaking loud! and a little lazy. but he's nice overall.. haha =P

and now time for photos again!

The "Fanstastic Four"

An 'unglam' photo of me pointing to ashraf and fadz the postition of the motif

the "big" heroes!

Terrible Day -.-

2008-12-04T15:16:00.007+08:00

Woke up with terrible headache, bad cold, and sore throat... the worst is i have no food at home and no one's in... and the rain is freaking heaving...

Must be because of the rain i got caught in 2 days ago...

Went to Ikea 2 days ago to check out the prices and stuffs and ytd to get all the stuffs for FAD...

Me with the $3.90 cushion

Trying to get the measurements of the table

See my reflection? Fadz say it would be nicer not to see my face... Such an ASS =P

The stuffs bought!!!

I need money!!!! Anyone wanna donate to this poor girl here...

Nothing beats doing this...

2008-11-28T01:12:00.005+08:00

so busy these few days... painting jobs and more painting jobs... but i get tons of fun from it.. although only the same few people who were always there to help and entertain.

now pictures time!

Then spent some alone time with baby... went to bugis... and they have carousel!

and isn't my baby cute?!! LOL

=P

just now earlier, we went to eat steamboat at bugis area... *sweetsssss*

-now tired... sleepzZz-

2008-11-24T23:21:00.002+08:00

i didn't mean to be asking so many questions..

just felt irritated over some stuffs...

but you didn't have to be so "evil back"...

you straightaway sianz...

told you i not feeling well... your concern was only " ok.. take care of yourself.. "

people have times when they are not feeling at their best... probably.. it's today that coincidentally we don't feel at our best or i'm just being unreasonable...

It's baby desmond bdae!

2008-11-21T14:01:00.004+08:00

Baby's birthday- 3 days ago...

it was no excuse not to celebrate his birthday just becuz he's having exams...

so the clever and thoughtful jaslyn-ME... cooked up a sumptuous dinner for him...

he actually finished everything!!!

but my jelly was a failure... *so SweeT*

then at night, i bought a cheese cake and got matin, ashraf, fadz, justin over. So his birthday is a lil more crowded...

Baby, i promise i will make it up to u... after your exams...

Good luck for your exams! jia You!

TO BOYFRIEND

2008-11-14T04:38:00.003+08:00

Happy 2 years Anniversary.

will never ever forget this day 2 years back.

Loves.

2008-11-14T03:09:00.002+08:00

to seek for solace.

things pile up one by one.. waiting for me to "unpile" them one by one...

i'm no longer working cuz my dad decided he wants to support me.

i'm the management of my percussion group with Fadz.
Voodoo's the name.

my bf is my boss.

it's 3.12am and i'm not asleep.

[ does is matter if you are a girl, lady, chick - yeah.. you get what i'm trying to say.., so does it give others the right of looking at you differently? you are human after all. you are just developed differently. but it does not mean that you can be chided, disrespected, beaten, etc!!! stand up for yourself if you think there's nothing wrong with yourself!!! ]

-the moments of doubts-

2008-06-17T02:46:00.003+08:00

i'm so dead beat.. but i just have to do this even if i gonna die.. =P

anyway, faiz, jerald, shawn, justin, rajiv, julian drank @ the pub i worked at...

faiz is perfectly oright
shawn is high now
justin is crazy now
rajiv only rmbs that 2*2=4
julian is high

and the best part is jerald told me he wanted to puke when he got home... he stood in the toilet for 15 min and he farted instead.... LOL

[some people just dun get it that there are alot of wonderful people around them waiting to be cherished, but they just hurt them instead]

baby, u r still the best...

2008-04-09T13:03:00.002+08:00

eh.... lol! got alot of things that i wanted to blog.. but suddenly dunno where to start, or rather i dunno what to blog....

baby's not feeling well these few days and i couldn't give enough care to him... looking at him sleeping at night... he look so peaceful, happy yet uncomfortable... but i like the look on him... just so happy i was given an opportunity to be with him...

at times, i think i might have irritated him.. or frustrate him... which i'm really trying very hard not to... but i still wanna say sorry... at times, certain things are not supposed to be meant the way i put it... i'm not good with my speeches and stuffs... tt's why it doesn't come out right from my mouth... which i really hope to get understanding from...

whatever it is, just being able to accompany you... just feels blissful...

-s e v o l-

2008-03-15T02:16:00.001+08:00

argh!!!!! fuckkkkk!!!

2008-03-12T13:16:00.002+08:00

trying my best to get used to it... trying... wonder if it's the same for u... i know things will be different from now on... so much things to tell u.. but u prolly be too tired after work...

sorry but i'll try.

-e t r a s-

2008-02-08T09:46:00.000+08:00

this is my second day of new year.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAN.

2008-02-08T00:31:00.000+08:00

ALWAYS BE MY BABY (Mariah Carey)

We were as one

For a moment in time

And it seemed everlasting

That you would always be mine

Now you want to be free

So I’ll let you fly

‘Cause I know in my heart

Our love will never die

You’ll always be a part of me

I’m part of you indefinitely

Boy don’t you know you can’t escape me

Ooh darling ‘cause you’ll always be my baby

And we’ll linger on

Time can’t erase a feeling this strong

No way you’re ever gonna shake me

Oh darling, ‘cause you’ll always be my baby

I ain’t gonna cry

And I won’t beg you to stay

If you’re determined to leave boy

I will not stand in your way

But inevitably, you’ll be back again

‘Cause you know in your heart babe

Our love will never end

You’ll always be a part of me

I’m part of you indefinitely

Boy don’t you know you can’t escape me

Ooh darling ‘cause you’ll always be my baby

And we’ll linger on

Time can’t erase a feeling this strong

No way you’re ever gonna shake me

Oh darling, ‘cause you’ll always be my baby

I know that you’ll be back boy

When your days and your nights get a little bit colder

I know that you’ll be right back baby

Oh baby believe me it’s only a matter of time

You’ll always be a part of me

I’m part of you indefinitely

Boy don’t you know you can’t escape me

Ooh darling ‘cause you’ll always be my baby

And we’ll linger on

Time can’t erase a feeling this strong

No way you’re ever gonna shake me

Oh darling, ‘cause you’ll always be my baby

2008-02-06T00:46:00.000+08:00

been so long since i've blogged... nearly forgotten about it till i saw my sister with her auction blog... pretty much has been going on and it's like 24 hrs never seems to be enough...

nothing much changed except that now i'm working in Borders Bookstore for like more than 4 months already... and my semester is ending soon... exams also pretty soon... and time is like nv enough... however... time is always there whenever i wanna accompany baby...

it gonna be Chinese new year soon... tml would be eve... and still got debts unpaid... but i'm determined to pay them back before this months end... just did a calculation... without the ang bao.. after all the debts... my bank will definitely be $0.00.

Was planning the genting trip.. now i don't even know if i would have enough to survive till the trip or not... really wanna go out a trip to relax!!!!!!

Just did hair extensions-wavy kind for new year... somehow now i wish i did not do it.. cuz it's painful to sleep with the extensions and showering is worst... but the good thing is.. it's nice and it looks natural...

Has been watching L Word. a lesbian show... which is pretty nice.. the dialogues are quite interesting.. and u can never imagine how open-minded the states is about lesbos... (fyi: i'm not one)

("v") ("v") ("v") ("v") ("v") ("v") ("v") ("v") ("v")
This sections here is for baby... V'day is coming and looking at my bank account... calculating the money i have, i prolly won't be able to get u a fanstatic present... and u will be having ur exams. However, i just want to tell u i love u more than the year before and i'll try my best to get u a nice present... so sorry baby... let me get thru this period of poverty first.
("v") ("v") ("v") ("v") ("v") ("v") ("v") ("v") ("v")

2007-11-23T01:05:00.000+08:00

it's nearly 2 months since i worked at borders... things changed somehow... just had my anniversary with baby last wednesday... he really really made me felt like i was the most fortunate woman on earth. he bought me a new pair of ring. which is super unique..
then a le coq bag... colour i love... and a red long wallet cuz i'm ah lian... lol...

then sat night went drinking cuz it was his b'dae... tried very hard to get as much people to come.. but i really couldn't... it wasn't easy... but thanks to those people who came... i'm kinda broke after that night... but it was okie... cuz everyone enjoyed... and baby was happy... details i shall not say cuz not really in the mood to do so...

and today... went to work with a sprained ankle... in sandals... but jo was pretty understanding.. she said it was okie... and apparently i was the hero for the day... but some things was just upsetting... i really do not blame anybody... but i was just upset... thinking of it.. i tear... but nvm...

it's all over..
i hope tml will be a fresher day... and hope to see u tml...

love u...

2007-11-16T12:34:00.000+08:00

it's getting more and more difficult to keep it in.... tell me wad to do...

it's not wanted...

maybe i should go missing slowly...

2007-11-11T04:03:00.000+08:00

was it very long ago since i blogged? lol.

too busy with school, tests, work, blah blah blah...

everything's cool. nothing much changed. haven't been going for BB practice. feels bad... so sorry peepz... tests is holding me up... plus the work... it's terrible...

so much shipments came in cuz of christmas, holloween, and other stuffs... and i just realized i haven't had my off day yet. the last one was last sunday... OMG!!! this is crazy... but i guess it's the people whom u work with makes u wanna work more.

it's gonna be our 1 yr anniversary and his birthday soon... OMG again!!! lol. actually had a plan... but work schedule dun allow my plan to proceed as follow... so i gonna bring baby to eat sharkfin ramen... and buy him a nice present. really dunno what to do. he doesn't wan to spend it alone with me... but wants a bunch of frenz... so yupz. tt's the most i can do with him alone on that day.

that's all i guess... could be quite long before i gonna blog.. could be...

-hope everything is worthwhile-

2007-10-18T12:20:00.001+08:00

the atmosphere is so cold... everything seems so abnormal after ytd morning... what happened?

a msg sent with a 2 word reply... lots of avoiding...

2007-10-16T13:39:00.000+08:00

haven't been able to blog lately..

due to work, school, studying, exam, accompanying baby, eating, sleeping, slacking, baracuda, etc... but it's okie.. blogging is not on my top priority list. =P

seriously, it's my PBF test tml, but i totally have no mood to study... or i think i'm just too lazy to find the books...

i'm sorry to those who haven't got the photos from me... will upload it ASAIHTT...

realized how important mummy is... without her... there's no food on the table at this hour. and it's LUNCHTIME!!! without her... i will be too lazy to do any housework... so she's like super important... but nvm... shall make do with the bread i bought and my honey red tea for now...

and i've decided to study straight after lunch... woohoo!

oh ya! i just re-make my POSB card!!! super happy... first thing i did was to buy something for baby paying via NETS!!! having my POSB card back is like having found the missing part of my dead body... YES! it's that important to me... Hooray!!!

2007-10-05T22:15:00.000+08:00

argh!!!!! i just friggin' lost my wallet...

contents : 1 identification card
1 Silver ATM POSB Card
1 Go! Debit POSB Card

May the person who took it and dun return rot to death right now... and if the person returns, i promise never to lose my wallet again...

Then again.... in replacement, i got myself a tamagotchi ver. 4!!! but i am only left with 85 cents and a ez-link card with $7.04 left... OMFG!

2007-10-04T13:37:00.000+08:00

was so bored... came across this webby...

Never Date a Capricorn

Somber, demanding, and freakishly logical. Emotions? It's not clear that Capricorn has them.And while it may be flattering for a Capricorn to be serious about you, bad news: they expect you to be super serious in return.
Instead try dating: Aquarius, Gemini, Leo, or Virgo

What Sign Shouldn't You Date?

Your Old Fashioned Name Is...

Fortune Elmebrigge

What's" Your Old Fashioned Name?

You Were An Angel This Year

You Were 15% Naughty, 85% Nice
You know you've been a super good girl this yearSo good, that you may have missed out a little...Don't worry, Santa will make it up to you!

Were You a Naughty Girl or Nice Girl this Year?

woah! i was an angel... LOL!

You Are 73% Passionate, 27% Compassionate

You are very passionate, especially when it comes to love.In fact, it's sometimes difficult for you to tell between love and lust.You jump in head first, and figure things out later... usually when it's all over!

Is Your Love Style Passionate or Compassionate?

You Are Right Brained In Love

Bit of a drama queenPeacemaker, first to end a fightGood at thinking up creative datesTend to fall in love and get hurt easilyGoing with your gut instead of your headEmpathetic and caring, sometimes to a faultGood at recognizing patterns in relationshipsBeen in love many times, perhaps too many to countWildly passionate and intense when falling in loveSpontaneous with relationships, going with the flowOverly visual - can play back past dates like movies in your mindRoses, love poems, and stuffed animals are a good start to winning your heart

Are You a Right Brained or Left Brained Woman in Love?

i answered accordingly.. but it doesn't seems true... oh well...

You Should Play the Drums

You are often hyper, restless, and full of a little too much zeal.However, people may be surprised to know that you can focus your energy well.
You are driven and engaged enough to be a great drummer... and you have the stamina to practice for hours.In fact, when you can channel your energy productively, it only increases!
You are independent and spirited... but also consistent. You can definitely keep the beat.You work well in a group and contribute heartily - without needing to take the lead.
Your dominant personality characteristic: your aggression
Your secondary personality characteristic: your precision

What Musical Instrument Should You Play?

Baracuda Peepz... you should try this...

Your Superpower Should Be Invisibility

You are stealth, complex, and creative.You never face problems head on. Instead, you rely on your craftiness to get your way.A mystery to others, you thrive on being a little misunderstood.You happily work behind the scenes... because there's nothing better than a sneak attack!
Why you would be a good superhero: You're so sly, no one would notice... not even your best friends
Your biggest problem as a superhero: Missing out on all of the glory that visible superheroes get

What Should Your Superpower Be?

LOL! i think Pixar might need me in their next movie...

You Are a Lace Bra!

Dreamy, romantic, and ultra-feminineYou're a womanly woman who makes guys feel like menYour perfect guy is strong, determined, and handsomeWith a softer side that only you can draw out

What Kind of Bra Are You?

woah!! baby... r u reading this? haha...

You Probably Couldn't Be a Vegetarian

The truth is, you really like your meat - a lot more than you like animals.For you, being vegetarian is hardly even a choice. You'll take steak over tofu any day.A vegetarian lifestyle is not in the cards for you. You're just not going to go there!

Could You Be a Vegetarian?

Faiz... this is so true right?!? =)

OMG!!... was just so bored.... LOL!

Gonna go back to do some serious work... like reallllyyyy!!!!

2007-09-30T23:00:00.000+08:00

hey hey everybody!!

i just got back from China - Zhejiang... it was like darn cool... but not at the same time...

they are like totally conserving the friggin' energy... by switching off all aircons that u see in China... it was like 30 degree celcius over there... and they say aircon got problem..

ask for cold drinks... they say refrigerator spoil... OMFG!!

but luckily... the people there... the students who brought us around... made it super fun for us throughout our stay there.... shopping wasn't quite fruitful though... just enjoyed the bargaining... some shopkeeper actually tot i was a china girl... lol... so could bargain for more discounts... =P

baby bought me a Hello Kitty Keyboard... and it came in handy cuz my lappy kepboard spoil... and the new keyboard has hot keys which are all working.... OMG!!!! LOL!

See!! is this cute???

Now... feeling kinda guilty... been like playing so much.. totally not back in the school mood... so yupz... and the work... thinking of quiting... not bcuz i played too much... but bcuz my school work not catching up... and i am not enuff time for resting... just realized the work taking up too much of my time...

and when i am back.. saw some emails... from the library director to the secretary...saying that she did not mark off the dates from the calendar after doing newsclipping for her... and if it was the temp who did it.. please get the temp to mark off the calendar... cuz she dun expect missing dates.... obviously... she was implying that it's my fault... but the secretary did not even ask me to mark off the calendar... all she did was to ask me to print and submit to the director.... which i did... and the secretary did not bother explaining to her... and just forwarded the email together with her instructions on asking me to do this and do that... the director is just unhappy about everyone's work... why not she do it on her own... esp my work... and i know i have to work lesser time... bcuz i got school... which again i know she's unhappy abt it... but cannot say anything bcuz i'm the only temp left...

prolly work for another month or so... wait for jia yi and gang to come back.. then i concentrate on my studies and baby... see how everything goes... right now... i gonna go eat my KFC and then drink lotsa water then sleep... =)

okie... nights everyone.. photos next day then i put up...

Love my baby...

2007-09-13T13:09:00.001+08:00

2007-09-12T11:31:00.001+08:00

how is it that u dun need to spare any thoughts for others... and yet u can still be so nonchalent about it...

2007-09-04T13:10:00.001+08:00

no one likes me... everything i do is wrong... everything.... i'm nv right... not even once... why do i deserve this? it's so unfair.... u guys are always the right one... everything u guys say are right... when it's me... i try to say something... i will be countered back... then it will eventually be my wrong... tt's why sometimes i choose to stay quiet... and tell myself everything will be alright...

2007-09-04T12:10:00.000+08:00

should i continue trusting you or just act nonchalently... i'm confused....

2007-08-29T10:18:00.001+08:00

it's been nearly 12 hours... and there are no signs... not a single movements... not a single sound... it's like everything is not alive... i wonder why i deserved to go thru' this... i wonder... my brain's dead from lack of nicotine... played sims 2 ytd nite... baby bought it for me.. thanks so much....

these are so random...... i need to know where i stand... cuz no one certainly deserves this.. esp me...

looking at the wordsearch book... but i dunno what am i trying to do with it... anyway... is it autumn festival? cuz my mum just bought 2 mooncake just for me to eat... so touched....

somehow it's terrible.....

2007-08-29T00:20:00.000+08:00

baby... when u see this, i would prolly be asleep... tot would see u online... but nvm... tml when u leaving house to find me... call me or something... see u tml... goodnite...

2007-08-27T16:25:00.000+08:00

u know what... u r a goddamn bitch

2007-08-15T10:46:00.000+08:00

it really sucks to be poor... really really... not trying to be negative but that's the truth...

wanna see the list of my loans?

To: Auntie Pauline - $5,000 (for UOL school fees)
To: Uncle Peter - $2,000 (for UOL Application fees)
To: Auntie Irene - $1,450 (for UOL Registration fees)
To: Auntie Irene - $250 (for SATS)
To: Baby - $170 (for tiding over the month of family crisis) *whereby some are already cleared
To: Granny - $400 (for my trip to Australia with band last yr)
To: Hazmi - $18.69 (refund from spree-er to him but not transferred to him)

The GRAND TOTAL = $9,288.69

Look at the list... it's not exhaustive....

Anybody wants my blood for $1m?

2007-08-11T12:41:00.000+08:00

i know i'm not... it's just irregular...

stressing over the wrong things.... giving myself unneccessary stress.

2007-08-09T01:17:00.000+08:00

2 sis at home and down with hand,mouth,foot disease... dun even dare to go near them...

hope they get well soon!

it's National day. Singapore has just turned 42 yrs old i think... kinda young actually... and it's holidays for everyone... everyone just love holidays.. me too... i love holidays... you know what's the meaning of holidays? it means "having more time to spend with your love ones". yepz.. wanna spend more time with my love ones...

so my plans goes like that tml.
morning - 7am head to market with mumMy to buy praying stuffs
dunno what time i'll be back home...

noon - 11 plus have early lunch with family...

then head down to baby's... but no time given yet... prolly mj... prolly stay home whole day... i dunno... prolly walk ard BP area... but nvm.. as long as i get to accompany him.. everything should turn out well... but please dun get used to it... i still wanna go town with u... :)

alright... kinda late... for me... hope u guys have fun tonight...

wo hui bu hui hen........? I LOVE YOU!

2007-08-05T21:35:00.000+08:00

Haven't been uploading much photos... shall upload as many as i can... (some are super long ago)

me n baby

soccer time!

the typical matin who would not turn to his back.. -camwhore- =)

Practising some formation in band room

Eating at "i forgot where"

having discussion at 'Restroom'

2007-08-03T09:48:00.000+08:00

doesn't this looks sweet... yupz..

baby just bought a tiny teddy bear hp strap for me.. it's so cute...

haven't been spending much time together... guess partly it's me.. always have to stuck in library. and gotta go see doctor with mummy and stuffs.. another part would be, baby's having exams soon. and he shan't fail.

but i know baby still misses me alot.. right? =P i miss u too...

2007-08-01T10:51:00.000+08:00

it's first day of school but i'm totally like not excited about it even though it's my fav sub. i know something gonna go wrong... somehow... somewhere... but i dunno what...

am i detestable? or r u trying to be ignorant and irritating?

i dunno...

anyway, ytd BB got the outstanding arts award... it's pretty cool... but just as usual, people somehow will spell our group name wrongly... but still ya... it's all about us and not the trophy or cert... and the fondue, the sushi, the pastries, the tempura!!! OMG!!! we were like having picnic la...

haha... guess that will be all... will uploads photos soon...

2007-07-30T16:39:00.000+08:00

MiSs BabY

2007-07-30T16:24:00.001+08:00

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i browse upon some website and guess what i see. I SAW SOMETHING WHICH MADE MY EYES PAINFUL!!! OMG!!!! DISGUSTING!!!

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-07-26T00:48:00.000+08:00

seriously... why should i keep to my promises when u dun... told u that my lappy is dying... u insist on using it.. says u know how to handle... (it's mine! for friggin' goodness sake!! you know it better or me!?!) darn... so nvm... i lent it to u... and u promised that u would put it back under my bed at 12am sharp on 25th july... and what was the outcome? u din... so why should i keep to my promise.. prove to me something before u wan me to do the same...

anyway... every others made my day... baby was the best still of course... wanna get angry over something but just look at him, and all anger are gone.. =)

anyway, did i mentioned that shopping online is healthy and fun? they are like so much cheaper. or at least cheaper than SG. haha... me and jia yi is like browsing the website every single day.. without fail... got money = spend. no money = look and wait for the next spree... haha.. TOTAL "TAI TAI".

haven't take photos of the things that we bought... but yupz.. it's from FOREVER21. awesome!

okie... that sounded bimbo.... haha...

so yupz... tt's all.. off to sleep.. =P

2007-07-17T10:42:00.000+08:00

oh... please... u... get a life!!! u sound like a pathetic bitch... U sounds like u needa get laid... SERIOUSLY!!! go get someone else ur size... and i think u need to be breastfed!!!

2007-07-16T10:26:00.000+08:00

i dunno... just wanna let u know how i feel... just like how u wan me to... i tell u... but u dun seems happy... it's not about the msging and stuffs... i tot u just needed to sleep it off.. maybe u need more time... anyway... if u see this.. just wanna let u know... i dun wan to continue being strangers with u... otherwise, how am i suppose to be the old self again?

i'm useless... so blardy useless...

2007-07-15T13:16:00.000+08:00

realized it's been a while since i blogged...

been really busy and stuffs...

just came back from the docs... woke up with a mump or bulge or whatever at the back of my cheeks... quite painful... couldn't tok much... mump due to over heatiness and stuffs... dun really understand but just had 4 different medicine to take until the swell goes off...

supposed to go Science Centre today cuz mummy say i nv go before... wanna bring me there with my siblings and cousins. but stupid sister have yet to finish her work. and stupid father suddenly ask her to go for some compo tuition. obviously trying to spoil our plans. but nvm. body's not well to go anywhere today... prolly just hang ard my area with my cousin...

okie... gonna go eat the super bland porridge...

Baby... miss you Loads...

2007-06-28T12:53:00.000+08:00

started working in ngee ann poly library for 3 days already... been doing alot of web "work". it's quite tedious... but fun... but it's like friggin' cold up there... then lunch time will hang ard BGZ to mend the counter for kah hong (however you spell the name =)

the BGZ is prolly the coolest place in the library... i've actually learnt how to play most of the board games, tho' i'm still lousy @ some...

as a player... i learn alot of games...
as a staff... i realized it's hard work even when those people playing are enjoying...

the games here are fun tho... the game i love the best is eh.... actually i not sure what... but it's okie.. everything is fun... if anyone read my blog and have not actually visited the library board games zone... do come down now... haha...

=P

2007-06-24T17:28:00.001+08:00

i'm decided to change the perspective for certain things... =)

haha... love baby

2007-06-21T11:33:00.000+08:00

so many confusions.. so many troubles... i just wanna stop them right here... right now...

i dunno what i did to deserve this... unwanted by many....

all the naggings... all the talkings... is all just making me feel more sick each day...

i need a lil' love right now...

mood :

2007-06-14T18:56:00.000+08:00

happy anniversary to baby sweetheart....

win mj again tml nite... this time i'll let u win... and i promise to pay the cab fare to sch tml... =)

*anyway!!! i won like $27.30 during mj session.. haha... *

2007-06-11T21:59:00.000+08:00

today is my big day.. for school life.. lol... GRADUATION CLASS 2007... i officially graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic today... but the 3 yrs in poly was tough and fun...

considering that i'm not a very smart student, i still successfully graduated.. everything was difficult to me while easy to many others... have many important people to thank for "pushing" me to where i stood today during the grad ceremony... it was difficult but fun... i must say i have a wonderful class, gr8 frenz, parents who spurred me to work harder, and many others who entered and exited my life in Ngee Ann...

had lots of photos taken but have to wait for them to be uploaded and to be sent to me.. i dun have a fantastic camera.. tt's why... DC also lousier than others.. but nvm... joyous occasion...

today when i got up the bus to go town, i suddenly have this mixed feelings inside me... the joy, the sadness and alot of unwillingness... i know i'll still be coming back.. but i just feel so different after graduated... all the 'rushing for projects', 'overnights at wei's or yan's place for project', 'exam fears' all no more...

However, NP shall always be the most wonderful place which i will always remember bcuz of all of you people...

Loads of thanks to my wonderful photographer, Desmond darling.
.
Lastly, congrats to all who graduated too!

-Happy Graduation 2007-

2007-06-04T00:06:00.000+08:00

the day i'm so like totally not looking forward to is finally here... -.-

arGh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-05-31T00:32:00.000+08:00

hm... another has passed... but it seems so slow... i dunno why... waiting... is so tiring... waiting for buses, waiting for mrts, waiting for cig breaks, waiting for baracuda to start, waiting for replies, waiting for this and that, he and she... so tiring. but it all eventually came except one... it's far too difficult to explain...

and i just realized there are a lot of procrastinators ard... they say it but dun do it... what's the whole damn point then..... if u know tt's gonna happen dun even say it... just shut up and it will REALLY helppppppppp....

and i'm injured but no one bothered...

other than these, the day was as per normal...

-wo zhen de hen fan ma?-

2007-05-27T23:59:00.000+08:00

me and baby got the same phone!!! =) N80i

awww... so sweetttt

2007-05-22T13:30:00.000+08:00

zao yi xi guan le ni de wo xing wo su... hai you ni de bu li bu qi... ke shi gong pin ma? she wang ni na duo yi dian dian de ti tie...

i miss you baby...

2007-05-15T00:41:00.000+08:00

i seriously dun understand... why does he always have to spoil my already limited happiness.. would a parent wan his/her son/daughter to be unhappy while going thru the growing up stage? i've already abide to everything he say since pri to sec to poly.. now it's the job i'm in... one parent supported me and thinks that i should be happy.. cuz i should enjoy not endure.. but the other parent think that i should work my ass off and slog no matter how tough it is.. i understand he wants me to experience the real working world... but seriously, who have actually had a bad working experience over the first professional job he/she got... tell me.. who??? i'm so sick and tired of all these... those who are reading or heard me, prolly are tired and sick of it too.. cuz i said it uber loads of time...

anyway, thanks baby for lending a listening ear... and u were more than tt by encouraging me and supporting me...

Anyway... this is hazmi for u.. =)

2007-05-13T00:21:00.000+08:00

i had the most wonderful day ytd... went to bras basah to get repinique and snare with mat and siraj... it's fun to get discounts... (okie, i know tt's being quite auntie..) =P...

then met baby to sing kbox @ the one winnie worked in... suppose to have mich and bf there.. but they tell me they couldn't make it..

so nvm...

and i'm really sick of work.. i know whining and complaining doesn't help and when i complain to others, they might find it irritating.. so i'm just gonna blog it down... and pray for this ordeal to get thru soon... (if i had nicer colleagues, i wouldn't even mind the miserly salary i'm getting)...

i miss everyone in KCK...

2007-05-11T00:39:00.000+08:00

wanted to study but after searching some materials for baby, felt so tired... and decided to sleep.. just as procrastinating... nvm... shall mug soon.. pls bug me to mug...

yawnzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz -i'm dreaming of a lovely work environment tml-

2007-05-11T00:19:00.000+08:00

1314

2007-05-08T23:46:00.000+08:00

hm... suddenly wanna blog.. but dunno what to blog about... everyone is rushing project... or school work... cannot tok to me.. so figured i shall do something meaningful - continue enhancing my blogskins.. =)

2007-05-07T23:25:00.000+08:00

my only food today was an apple... and only drink was the water from my bottle.. aren't i gd....

2007-05-07T00:16:00.000+08:00

my injured toe while clubbing ytd nite... some buggers stepped on me..

2007-05-06T22:56:00.000+08:00

just finished bathing.. and decided to read an email to my mummy... about men and women.. darn hilarious.. =) she was laughing too.. gd to see her laugh!!!

and after making her laugh... i got to know that mummy bought a new ipod for sister!!!! argh!!! so unfair... i din get anything from her for b'dae.. and sister get it even before her b'dae... UNFAIR!!! i wan one too.. but i won't bug her for it... cuz of the financial status we are in now... doing that will increase her burden... =)

can't believe i'm so totful... gonna go have my fantastic salmon now... - b'dae gift from mummy...

post some pictures for u guys to see

2007-05-01T15:46:00.000+08:00

okie.. just change abit of my blog skin... decided to make it so complicated... anyway... dun ask me change font colour or what.. just read...

2007-05-01T13:04:00.000+08:00

those who wan photos tag my blog or sms me or msn me or call me.. DUN EMAIL ME!!!

2007-04-25T14:33:00.000+08:00

getting crazy... barely hear from u each day... only when i sms u then i will hear from u... baby... i miss u... do u?

-wanna hug u for a long long time-

2007-04-24T00:00:00.000+08:00

this post is specially for Desmond Huang Wei Qiang a.k.a Baby... lol =)

thanks for every single things u did for me, u paid for me.... for all the "atoms"... and "molecules"…

thanks for the "spirit fingers" too... lol

but the main thing is.. thanks for my pynk PSP... my past few months of so many, many, many, many, many, many stuffs.. got to always ask u to pay for my cab fare home... like so many times that i lost count... lol… prolly can accumulate up to $500 bucks already or even more.. haha… the first time u came to meet me was already by paying for my cab fare home after performance… OMG!!! Haha!!!

thanks for my bbq and my chalet... which cost-ed u a bomb… big bomb… and thinking that over there u prolly have to pay for some stuffs again… =)

thanks for the stuffs u bought me.. I give u the list… lol...tigger clock….the luggage… the sony MP3… the black blouse.. if u rmb… =) the bronze Disney coins… the soft toys (the one big pig, one small pig, one monkey, one tweety bird… 2 bonus toys) u caught for me from the big candy land.. la la la.. the bag of unfinished mentos and other variety of sweets… the 3 pairs of earrings u bought… my Logitech mouse…

thanks for the 2 overseas trip u brought me to too… lol..

first trip was Malaysia… u brought me to ur frenz place.. although din have a good nite rest.. but it was happening.. we literally gamed whole nite… second day finally got a hotel… then rest so much better… and u paid for most of the hotel… then the coach back… and the stuffs we spent in Malaysia.. was actually quite a lot.. the chewing gums.. then the indoor theme park… u paid too.. the photos we took… all the rides we sat on… the drinks u bought…

then we went sentosa to meet ur parents… spent on cab fare there again.. lol… spent on the canoe… spent at ur fren’z pub…

then the second trip was hong kong… second day at disney land u already bought me a lot of stuffs… for me, for my siblings.. so much then on the last nite, we had to get another luggage already… the PSP itself was already like.. O M G!!! then my mickey and Minnie mouse sweets…my pynk winter jacket… my umbrella… the eeyore bag… see.. so much.. can’t finish listing them all sia...

then in Singapore got so much too… a lot on good food… on all the soft drinks.. on cigs… on movies… on gaming… on playing pool.. on prata-s… on mutton soup… on macs… on so many things I cannot finish listing again… lol

and u know what… I am only at the 471th word up to this point…. Tell me how to reach 1000 words sia.. lol…

thank u for helping me with my WISP projects too… u were very helpful when u know my group mates din help much… and now it is ur turn.. should u require any help just ask me.. alrights? I’ll be more than glad to help.. lol…

baby.. anyway.. it’s 1.12am already.. I have work and school tml… I am friggin’ sleepy… lol… later start blabbering.. and at this point… I have only 557 words.. which is like wow already… I will make sure I will edit this by wed morning 12am… till it reaches 1000 words..

but it isn’t the 1000 words that matters… just rmb… wo zhen de hen xie xie ni.. love u baby… =)

hugs!!! (spare me okie? =P) 1.38AM

continuing...

right at this moment now.. i miss baby alot... he's having lesson.. and the freaking weather is so cold.. hope baby is not shivering anymore... >_<

me shall continue to shiver.. lol

hugs!!! (spare me again? =P) 1.42PM

continuing...

and now that chalet is over... i have more things to thank u for...

since the start when we checked-in, u already started spending money on my food... but i did too =) then on cab fare here and there..

then at the chalet itself.. you estimated to have spent about another 100 bucks or was it 200?... it was just uber lot.. cuz i din withdraw any cash so kept using yours conveniently.. which i know u wun mind but whine.. =)but i know u did it for me anyway...right?

then after dinner with wilson, we went to the arcade and u caught this soft toy for me, a black cat... (no photos yet.. to be uploaded soon).. my frenz came, u played mj with them and lost quite a bit... for that i also considered spendings on me i guess...

u then spent more money on the bbq day itself... for the cab fare to go to mcritchie(however you spell it)for our performance... then the bike rental for teaching to me how to ride the bike.. apparently, u were a fierce teacher but a rather gd one.. i can paddle one aux. without anyone holding finally after 12 friggin' yrs of learning.. i know paddling that lil bit was lousy but i will continue to learn less the mosquitoes of cuz...

then other spendings included 3 bags of charcoal, 2 bags of ice, 1 pair of tongs, rubber band which i bought without ur consent.. sorry =P, and we bought alot of cigs throughout the whole chalet...

then on last day, when we went back, din spend much already... cuz i paid for most of the expenses already... but it’s alright bcuz i have already squeezed u dry enuff that for the next two months i gonna support u... =) i promised... 2 months only that i can afford.. haha..

anyway it was my best b'dae chalet ever... cuz i only had this one.... and u made it happened for me... thanks baby... HUGS!!

at this point I’ve already completed this 1000 words blog entry for u baby 12.57PM

2007-04-22T01:13:00.000+08:00

daring... but i like it.. rather.. loved it.. it's my turn the next time..

2007-04-21T12:48:00.000+08:00

it's been some times since i blogged... all the work and nite classes making me into a zombie...

was at jh's b'dae party at chillz bar.. =) pretty fun i guess... anyway jh din change a single bit... but lifes changed... looking at ourself.. no one changed but lifes changed.. lol ironic.. lol... then anyway his frenz and "brothers" were all there.. lol... his drunk face OMG! he better rmb i sang b'dae song for him.. lol..

anyway hope he had a good b'dae...

know baby was a lil bored ytd... thanks for accompanying me.. =D hope u at least had some fun too...

gonna go back to snoring..zzZZZzzZZZ

2007-04-16T00:15:00.000+08:00

been to zoo today

finally.. so fun. =) whole loads of fun.. thanks to u my darling..

kinda tired.. but decided to blog...

some people are just pests... big-time pests... or maybe they dunno the meaning of "an fen shou ji"

Note to cindy:
u know sometimes i really dun like toking to u... cuz u nv listen.. always have to resort to putting it on the blog... but.. once again.. i tell u.. dun bother abt those girls who flocks ard him.. was once like u... getting sensitive and stuffs.. and jealous.. then realized that doing tt is the fastest way to losing him.. have trust in him.. now at times i still do get a lil sensitive and jealous.. alil bitttt.. lol.. but i trust him... cuz we love one another just like u love mike.. it's the trust that both of u have... maybe he's at fault... or maybe it's not what u think... well.. dun give him anymore reasons to find other girls...

love needs no boundaries... <3

2007-04-15T00:40:00.000+08:00

me self-obsessed... new clothings..

-then again...............................................................................................-

2007-04-12T01:04:00.000+08:00

i'm fine and baby's sick.. Yloved baby's shock face on monday when i went over.... cuz i was not expected.. supposed to be working.. lol.. his face.. omg.. just so cute.. but sick and tired.. -heartaches-

now baby okie le.. me feeling kinda headache again.. lol.. cycle.. but this will heal soon.. still have antibiotics...

my face now clear of pimples... however!!! face peeling quite badly.... can someone help me... listen to bb, drink alot of water.. but still cannot.. maybe i nv drink enuff..

tired
-off to bed-

2007-04-08T00:08:00.000+08:00

"dong dong dong"... it's 12 midnite now... i've become a simple cinder girl... who wash and cleans the house... and have to sleep in this room infested with not insects but soft toys =) and with no aircon and fan... (no fan due to that irritating bro of mine who lost some parts of the fan while playing it when mummy was cleaning it)

then tml morning i will be awaken by not my animal frenz and birds chirping but mummy's nagging.. lol... then gotta head down to baby's. OMG...

one whole week of work.. and studies.. barely saw him... miss him so much.. and saw how much he missed me.. i just din want to leave him today.......

2007-04-03T00:18:00.000+08:00

today first day of work.. first bloop - dunno which level was my workplace @.

still working.. second bloop - i dunno.. lol... just keep doing sales and more sales invoices.. people there ain't tt frenly... or maybe i'm too new.. they can't adapt.. or prolly they just can't be bothered to be.

third bloop - i still dunno... had classes at SIM. the lecturer.. i dun understand... weird... but nvm.. economics... analysis.. difficult.. but saw a fren.. lucky.. not so bad.. some others from NP too... but not familiar... alot of pretty faces.

hm... then baby came to fetch me... yak and yak non stop... then all the jokes... lol.. super stressed and miss baby alot.. had macs.. then headed home..

i'm all worn out for today...

-ming tian hui gen hao-

2007-04-01T14:36:00.000+08:00

sick sick.. been sick for quite some time.. then on thursday nite, it just got worst... sore throat... woke up at 4 plus and 6 plus on friday morning... drank lots of water din help.. lost my voice... but tt day was determined to see baby... so regardless of everything i went.. cuz i think my body is strong enuff to take all these.. and baby's immune system is high so wun get affected... then got there realized i was getting worst... but still played with baby... at nite before dinner i slept a lil... then baby took my temperature and stuffs, gave me a panadol.. then dragged me down to see doctor.. OMG!! all the pills... then baby say "i ask doctor give u jab, once and for all.. everything will be okie." i nearly cry out la.. hate jab.. but bcuz baby say must listen... lucky thing, doctor say no need jab... throat infection is tonsilities. then fever was 38.9degrees. u can't imagine how many different pills and syrup i have in total - 6 or 7 i think. then rested the whole nite... baby din sleep the whole nite just to ensure that i woke up to eat my med on time.. love him so much!

went to jurong east ytd - business edge to sign the agency contract... then on the way back at dover, i got out of mrt cuz nearly fainted in the mrt.. think is due to my exhuastion, the lack of oxygen in the cabin... too many people and i was standing... then sat at the station platform thinking that awhile later i will be fine.. so tried to move in to the next coming train but din get better, so sat back down again.. called baby instead of mummy, mummy too far.. then baby rushed down.. looking at him scolding and all, i know he's worried... sorry baby for making u worried.. then he sent me home and then went to buy ai xin porridge for me... eat le had medicine then it rained quite heavily.. so he stayed and help sister to pack her books.. think she was too happy to have someone packing for her... then i eventually fell asleep.. then baby left
then slept thru'out.. woke up to have dinner only... but appetite not tt good..

throat still kinda painful... hope everything will be okie.. rashes coming out again.. argh!!!

thanks baby for these few days.. yi ding shi lei huai ni le... hao ai ni! =D

2007-03-29T15:03:00.000+08:00

it all takes times...
everything needs time...
everyone needs time.. and u know what?

i need time now to get outta this house... cooping up in this lil' room of mine makes me go crazy... facing my brother doesn't makes things better... he is just a noise producer who gives me burden...

anyway, was in the mood of writing poems.. some sentences may not be originally mine..

I don't know how we get into these fights.
After them I look back at the ashes
More shocked than hurt, as when a light plane crashes,
Slanting numb through strange, unearthly lights.
Oh, how I wish I could get off that plane
Rushing to its rendezvous with tears!
Rage is but a mask for my shy fears.
Yet I would die before I caused you pain.

How can I know so surely that I'll love you
No matter what the future has in store?
Time is like a cave in which our torches
Show only the circumference of our minds.
But love is will far more than it is passion,
Though passion may at first sustain the will.
One chooses love the way one chooses faith
Because that is the way that heaven lies.

My love for you is vaster than the ocean,
More rich in loveliness than coral seas.
I could no more relinquish it than let go
Willingly the precious gift of life.

I want to make you smile as you make me.
I wish you saw my thoughts right through my eyes.
You ask me what I'm thinking. I can't tell you.
You are the stars, and I the empty skies.
In me there is a yearning ever flowing
That needs to reach an end that never comes.
I cannot be myself without you with me.
This is a truth no wisdom ever plumbs.

You laugh, and say that I'm your personal angel,
And this is what I want so much to be.
The beauty of my life is like a passion
That blows right through the person that you see.

2007-03-29T01:46:00.000+08:00

just like u, i try to change for u.. no matter how difficult it is i keep trying.. i dun just see the bad side of u.. tt's so not true.. i also see the good in you.. but u only notice me when i see the bad side of u... sometimes u prolly assume too much.. and i know most of the times i am so sensitive..

the things that u like to do, i will like too.. prolly i can't do it.. but still i enjoy being ard u to enjoy the things u enjoy doing.. i can't help but think that u were unhappy thru'out most of the times being with me... really hurt... but i dunno what to do.. as much as i want this to work out..i really dunno... sorry to make u feel so helpless.. lose track of urself and stuffs... i know u care... i know u really do.. i care too.. as much as i dunno how much it is... sorry that i'm not giving u enuff space to breathe...

no one is perfect baby... for u, i will continue to change to the woman u see as perfect too... the perfection lies in the eyes of the beholder.. for like what i have on msn... "You learn to love, not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly"...

2007-03-28T13:14:00.000+08:00

everytime when i'm feeling happy, sad, worried, frustrated, excited, anxious, etc... i will feel like blogging.. guess what kind of feeling am i feeling now? i hAve no idea either. a feeling like nv before. maybe this is the point of time when the sea is flowing camly into the river banks - plain happiness and calm... then prolly after sometime, the sea might get all excited and happy then the water will gush into the river again... altho i like it exciting n happy, it is nt always like thAt.

la mer bleue profonde est vous,
na da hai jiu shi ni,

l'eau en mer est votre amour,
da hai li de shui jiu shi ni de ai,

les banques calmes de fleuve est moi,
na tiao xiao he jiu shi wo,

l'eau dans le fleuve est mon coeur.
xiao he li de shui just shi wo de xin.

2007-03-27T23:42:00.000+08:00

woah.. can't describe my feelings today.. a part of me - happy, a part of me - tired, a part of me - sorry... but mostly happy i guess.

too many things done and too lil time.. so shall not give details...

thanks my dearest baby... for everything...

ToT of The day-You learn to love, not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly-

2007-03-26T17:09:00.000+08:00

i dun bear grudges if u dun rmb... i just got sick and tired of asking u out and u give me last min excuses that u wanna accompany ur bf or whatsoever.. dun come crying to me next time if u have problems.. i have my own problems too.. i can sit there patienty listening to u.. but u can't.. u either seems too distracted or what.. but anyway.. u know what u did.. i dun have to explain further..

i always ask u and the others out... the others nvm... u r my closest fren.. and yet trust u to not understand me... kinda disappointed.. but nvm.. guess i expect too much of ya.. not only towards u. but prolly i ask too much of people ard me.. tt's why there's always so much arguements...

girl.. gimme awhile.. u r always my loveliest fren.. and abt the thing u told me the other day... i understood already... the reason why he always goes out early and return home late might be bcuz u have been choking him up too much... cuz from what i've heard from him... and i know.. he still loves u... just hate being nagged at whenever he reach home.. nag less and love more my dear.. i know u gonna say i'm liddat as well.. but girl.. i am trying to change and apparently it's working out quite well i think.. nag less and love more.. okie?

--baby, this is for you. i treasure the times with u.. and i know u love me. we gonna make things work.. i know love will find a way.. love you.. --

2007-03-22T20:51:00.000+08:00

how do u think i felt hearing that...

2007-03-20T17:19:00.000+08:00

aches here and there... helppp...

2007-03-18T21:30:00.000+08:00

i dun wan to leave now... i dun wan... i wanna stay here... dun force me to go Aust........................

2007-03-18T01:07:00.000+08:00

hm... family got a lil harassment from a boy... looks ard the age of 13-16... abit of mental problem too i guess... hm... police came and left... guess it should be safe for now..

baby mood better le.. hugs baby... love you

2007-03-16T22:57:00.000+08:00

hm... body feels so heaty... have 2 big ulcer in the walls of the left side of my mouth... pain pain...

this morning was so... i dunno how to describe...so hurtful... the only thing i wanted to do then was to run to des to hug him... and let him tell me everything's alright... and he did... thanks.. u made me laugh so much today.. thanks baby...

i love you

2007-03-15T02:43:00.000+08:00

sometimes i find living to be a very tiring thing... how do u like it almost every morning when u wake up, with someone by ur bed not to dote on u but to nag at u, scream at u.. saying things that wasn't true at all..

everytime, the quarrel, the "pep" talks, the arguements only circulates around the most basic topic-my studies...

since primary 6, decisions made by him was already wrong... choosing the 6 schools which i apparently couldn't get in. eventually got posted to an even lousy school.. my score for 273(with proof). to me, when i dun like something, it's really difficult for me to do it well. i din like the school.. so every year i dropped class.. 1A, 2B, 3C, 4C.... if they had a 4D for express, i would definitely be in there.. i knew......... but i still tried my best to study hard and achieve good results and i got results that could have actually brought me to JC for O's.

then i beg them so hard for me to go Poly instead...but there's always a catch... the catch is, he's gonna choose the course for me... i din like it... but i had to let him do it.. (dun say i could have rejected him from helping me, cuz i couldn't) give and take... cried alot then... felt that my freedom was all lost... he chose Acc as first choice.. after which the rest of the 11 choices were nearly alike... and i din like it... i hated accounts ever since sec sch to the core. just bcuz i put in so much effort pulling my result up for Maths and POA, he decided to put me into that course...

so when i joined NP, even when i knew accounts was one of the best course in there, i still wasn't happy, cuz it's not what i like. nvm.. i studied.. i studied hard... i promised myself that no matter how much i dun like it, how hard its gonna be, i'll still make sure i pass every sem at least and not repeat.. to my expectation i did that.. today results released... i officially graduated without repeating any sem. obviously, he still wasn't happy... feels that i could have done better... if i din have band, baracuda and other stuffs. they weren't supportive of my other activities. with just one hand, i can count the number of times they came to watch baracuda performed.

they expect me to stop baracuda once i enter uni, but i wun... and i dun wan to... it was baracuda that spurs me on to continue studying in NP, baracuda that provided so much fun, laughter and tears for me and baracuda that gave me hope to study... so much it is to me that when he asked:"when would u stop going for baracuda?"

my answer was :"until it no longer exist."

then he thinks that i dun help out at home.. which i did but they were too busy scolding, nagging and working to notice it. i dun like to do things and make sure they see it to acknowledge it. i do what's right and comfortable for me. they see it, they're happy-fine. they dun see it, they complained-forget it.

they kept using my siblings as a pressure on me. sometimes really envy those single child family or the youngest of the family, cuz they dun have the pressure given by their parents that they must and have the responsibilities to take care and guide them. however, i guided my siblings but they themselves do not help themselves. so in the end, i'll still get the punishments.

just the day before, sister's results were out for her appeal. and then again, a mistake by him. but he just wun realize it. forget abt it.

i try to help out as much as possible. but at the same times, i need life too... yes.. prolly, i'm quite playful... but they would nv understand.

these stuffs happened so many times that i lost count and i dunno how to go abt it. everytime it's just the same old things.. the old man-conservative-pumpkin mind.

so much so much to say... so much so much stuffs going thru' my mind...

BB-thanks for providing me laughter and fun, guys.

baby... thanks for calling me, even if u dunno what to say.. it's okie.. just be there to listen... let me "whine". *hugs*