REALLY REALLY VERY FRUSTRATED!!!!!!!

When was the last time i posted an entry?? 10000 yrs ago?

why am i being treated like that? why must you lie? why must you hide? why must you purposely ignore?

ever since ur company started, you and i became even more busy.. you busy with "trying" to earn money and i am working very hard to earn money. but however hard i work, i always keep some time for you. i make sure i will meet you if i know we haven't been meeting for many days. you say you miss me but cannot see me. i think it's all bull shit.. if i can make the effort to go down to your house regardless of the journey, regardless of the time and regardless of the taxi fare i have to pay, why can't you do the same? i'm not asking you to do the same. but if you miss me, dun make it sound like i am too busy to meet you. because one thing for a face you know that it's you. You are too lazy to travel to meet me. You only want people to revolve around you but you never want to do that, even though you thought you did.

After a whole day of busy work, i would call you hoping to have a little chat with you longer while waiting for bus or something. but it never happens. However, after your "busy" day at work, i always hear you going for a drink and going for late night supper. Now you know why i complain abt the longer chat i want? It never happens because you are too busy playing with your friends.

The next day after ur late night out you will give me an attitude as if i've disturb you for a whole day, chiding me "didn't you know i work until very tired?" but you know what?? Actual fact is you went home late. Too tired or drunk from all the playing and drinking then you wanted to sleep in late, but blame on my stupidity for calling you at the wrong time while you are still having all sleep. Then when you are all awake, you rush to go out to work again, because this time you really have to go studio for REAL work but you are gonna be late or late. Again, you will start to blame everyone around you but yourself. I would just say it's the bad luck of those people who speaks to you at that point of time. Their bad luck for speaking to you and getting scolded for no reasons. Then when you reach work, you will start thinking that you got not enough time to work or whatsoever. But the actual fact again is because, you spent more than half the time sleeping and only left with that much time to do whatever you have to do for that day. So who can you blame?? Then you reach work so late, so ur excuse of going home late again is inevitable.

Even though ur scoldings or black face after you wake up is not as often anymore, but other stuffs are getting worst.

Then also if you don't want people to disturb you, you would off your phone. But i seriously don't think you should do that to me as well. cuz i'm your gf. I'm not stupid. I can understand and piece stuffs together. If you can see, i'm starting to give up. Not bothered to meet you as much. cuz i see no worth anymore. I dunno why am i still holding on to whatever and taking whatever nonsense you are throwing at me.

And also the girls... i definitely have my reasons for being unhappy with the girls around you. You should know it the best. Thru'out this 3 years with me, what have you been doing? what are you still doing? i know. i'm not blind. i just keep quiet and be ignorant. But there's a limit to everything. i hope you do know that. I also hope you do know how many chances i've given you. which girl can actually be so forgiving to boyfriends who cheats on them. You may think "cheating" is a big word to be used on your case. But i can tell you it's not because replying to a lovey dovey sms from other girls using lovey dovey words are bad enough. Enough to hurt your gf.

You know why i didn't give up on you? Because i thought you could change. and thought you would change after awhile. I thought it was just like for the first few months of the rship that you would still be that "playful" but apparently i was wrong. There wasn't any improvements as all. I'm tired.

I'm not saying that only you make all these mistakes or only you are wrong. I err too. I have times that i may nag too much that maybe you cannot take it or times that i may be too demanding that you cannot take it. But i don't think these reasons are good enough for you to go around playing.

Seriously reflect on your time, your attitude and your work, your driving license, your company, your studies, and most importantly your life. Cuz everything stated above is part of your life now.

7 habits ot effective people ---- i hope it will help SERIOUSLY