heart broken

i read ur blog... the saw someone with someone else, and u r naive and all... referring to me? *keep fingers cross... hope it's not... being frenz is bad enuff to me... trying hard to let go this rship... but can't and i really dun wish that even frenz also zhuo bu cheng.. guess being frenz is the best thing i can do right now...

being single is good.. at the same time it's bad...

single means i can go out with anyone i want to... WITHOUT RESTRICTIONS from anybody...

but at the same time, it means loneliness... it means u have no bfs to pamper u... no bfs to shower u with gifts... no bfs to pay for ur movie tickets... no bfs to eat with u... i know all these anyone, even frenz can do... but the worst thing is to have no one to love u... i need to be loved... but not now.. right now, i'm kinda enjoying my singlehood...

anyway, all ur (jay) photos are in my private photos and captions in frenster... cuz i wanna keep u in my memories... if u wonder why there isn't ur photo in there... u r still important to me.. haha.. heard that u might patch back with dehs... gd for u... =) cherish her if u do... the third time u guys gonna patch back le...

anyway, my frenster also dun have ur pic le wor!!! hmpf... totally dun wan me liao ar... haha...

-tiring-

it's a sunday once again...

boring sunday... real boring... just brought my keyboard back... but upon seeing it, the urge of playing it has gone... cuz the tot of playing the song for no one to hear sucks... had been practicing a song for him... but apparently... it's useless now.. not in the next 10 yrs would i play that song for anybody...

whipped up a meal today... not exactly fanstastic.. but edible...

suddenly having the feeling of loneliness... everyone's either working or playing with frenz or watching soccer.. only me.. cooped up at home on my bed with only my lappy to look at...

just wanna see u for awhile and i'll be contented but i'm always rejected... rejection sucks... but oh well... nvm... hope the next time it won't be liddat... frenz do not react this way... with whatever reasons u have...

alrights... shall end here... gdnite everyone... me just wanna escape from all this... from loneliness... wanna go to place where love fills the air... where hearts wun feel empty...

Me and Frenz...

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work work work...

hm... today went back to dap's to work...

biz still as bad... or rather getting worst... then went to have dinner with jonathan... so tired... still gotta entertain...

anyway, d'haven gonna shift soon... most prolly to clark quay... the new shopping centre which will be up by oct....

the management is under bugis junction... the building under far east organization... and they wanna make it the first 24 hr shopping mall... it gonna be above clark quay mrt... and the best thing is that, it's just opposite the stretch of clark quay pubs...

so if we really moved... peepz pls visit me... =) i guarantee, signature, chop it gonna be fun... =) yeah... *hooray for girls*

but maybe we gonna shift to the new harbourfront shopping centre.. it's not up yet... but soon...

it gonna be the biggest shopping mall in SG.... with alot of branded clothings... no.... think it might not be so fun... unless u r heading for sentosa... yeapz... and it wun be 24 hr shopping...

okie.. leave it to dap and vin...

my baby is sick.. he's having headache.. hope he feels better by the time he reads this... still misses him alot...

*pls take good care of urself... dun wan u to get sick and all... and dun forget things le.. i can't
always be there to remind u... unless u still wan me to... and listen to the song if u rmb... it's really nice...

gotta work tmr still then go shopping with hui min... shopping is healthy!!!

-tt's all for now-

me ish sick...

leg's like pig trotters... so long nv liddat le..

so bored... crazy girl is bored.... crazy girl wan go gai gai... anyone wanna bring me along?

me is hungry... me is having fever (infection)... me is having flu... me is sick sick sick...

but no one cares..

hm...

i'm so so dead... it's boring.. sundays are boring... hate sundays.. where people have families to spend with... and i only have my lappy to spend with...

but nvm....

blogged for fun anyway... was too bored... and confused... and the magic ball is not helping!!!

argh!!!

i getting confused already... tell me what to do... if u were me... everything is not happening the way it should be... or maybe it's me...

tears...

i can't help it... got to blog again...

i really miss him... stupid winamp keeps reminding me of him... stupid shuffling system... keep playing songs that we sang b4... but weird me.. just dun wanna off it...

let me know that he still love me...god... let me know.. gimme some sign... it's only 2 days plus and i'm already like going crazy... i wanna hug him... really hug him... i wan him to know that i love him still... i think everything now wun help except a hug from him... telling me everything's okie..

dunno when that will happen... but i'll continue to wait... bcuz of this...


8/15/2006
1:08:31 AM
jayy;; its what i asked for, but with a price to pay.
//jasaskforurloveoncemore.. positive spirit is a liar..
my tears has proven to me

8/15/2006
1:08:37 AM
jayy;; its what i asked for, but with a price to pay.
//jasaskforurloveoncemore.. positive spirit is a liar..
that i love you


8/15/2006
1:09:52 AM
jayy;; its what i asked for, but with a price to pay.
//jasaskforurloveoncemore.. positive spirit is a liar..
hugs

8/15/2006
1:09:54 AM
jayy;; its what i asked for, but with a price to pay.
//jasaskforurloveoncemore.. positive spirit is a liar..
wait then

see...

was in town the whole day... walk walk and walk aimlessly with jonathans... they were like trying so hard to make me laugh with their jokes... but it was too cold... brrrr.... sorry... shall not elaborate whr i go... town is just town... it's the people u go with that makes the difference..

went to cine to play pool... yeah... i suck... play the guess "the other party's number" game... i keep losing.. is my number so easy to guess?? i wonder... then went to play mahjong in arcade... so off form sia... dun wanna describe how...

then everywhere we go, as long as there's adidas and nike.. i'll be dragged in... OMG!!!

they did something crazy... went to book in to HOTEL 81!!!! no no for me.. not with them... dun wan to go there then let them do stupid things... dun wan to dui bu qi baby... so i chose to go shopping at bugis.. while they go there to rest... guess they are too tired from all the walking...

then meet up and went to pool fusion.... omg... i love their sofas and and cushions... but i think they should put more tvs... =) next time bring YOU there... think u will like it... they have good cues... nice air con... and good tables... just what u like... =)

then stupid car thing happened... really stupid... and stupid me forgot to take down the photo... in case the car owner bu shuang over the car insurance and wanna do court order... but nvm...

it was quite a day... hated the hotel part.. nearly quarrelled.. stupid guys... rest of the day was fine.. at least they apologised, realised their mistakes and treat me to dinner...

yeah... YOU r right... i really have weirddddd frenz... =)

anyway, dun worry abt me... i'm fine... i'm home safely and blogging... =)

really really miss you... really.....................

it's wednesday already

hm... ytd nite offended 3 person... or rather was just disturbing 3 person... but ytd was a bad day to disturb them... oh wells...

suppose ta meet mich.. her shift changed to working til 9pm.. sadz... nvm... another day ba... then suppose to have "satay" outing with khad and kumar... then they change it to friday... at least i know friday i will be occupied... must occupy myself all the time otherwise i will not be myself...

jonathan Quek just called saying to go for breakfast... but the time now is already like 11.26pm... but we are still meeting i guess... it's been like 3 yrs since i last see him... then jonathan See would be meeting us at a later time... yeah.. it's 2 jonathan... both were from same class... but i see jonathan See ard more often.. =)

anyway... lying on my bed now.. feeling kinda nua to live hs.... but nvm... otherwise i'll be bored to tears de..

P.S. hey people, if u need someone to go out with... regardless of doing what (except rob, steal, rape and all sorts of crimes) i'll be glad to accompany u... it's to keep myself preoccupied...

(= sserts on*uoy evol llits i

*hugs*

untitled 3

today was at creative store...the people there were nice... they changed a new set of zen v for me..

then didn't know what to do after that... was alone the whole time.. wanted to be alone i think... but it felt terrible..

then decided to watch a movie.. was wondering how it feels to be watching movie alone... watch Lakehouse again... i love that movie... the guy and the gal got together in the end... it was a touching yet loving story... guess that don't really happen in real life.. no one lives 2 yrs apart in real world...

then after that still wanted to watch another movie.. so went to watch the Break-up... another love story... yes.. i'm an idiot... the show features a couple breaking up... but they still got back after separating for awhile.. cuz they realized that they still love each other... it was a typical story of break and patch... but the show was still nice.. give it 4 star... wun mind watching it again...

then after that still wanted to watch another movie... checked out the timing of Lakehouse again... wanna watch it again... so bought the ticket... then the urge of wanting to watch that show was gone... so just threw the ticket away... yes.. i'm an idiot... i know many people wanna watch it too...

basically the whole just spent time with my own mind, my own soul, my own heart....

wonder wonders really...

why me...

at 10.53.53pm, we have become a rank below lovers.. at least it is good news to me...

i guess...

love really hurts... it hurts to know that the guy whom once loved u dunno if he loves u anymore...

i think i've caused the outcome today... i'm the cause of everything.. it all starts with me being insecure.. feeling so afriad of becoming the second dehs... tt's why....

i dunno what to blog in this entry... my mind's a blank... heart just continue to ache... just feel like digging my heart out and stab it a few times... until it dies... until it feels no more... but i can't dig it out... so it shall continue to ache...

yes... i'm putting on a fake front.. but at the same time.. i think baby needs some breather... i think i have been choking him up alot...

i know i have been the one trying to hold on to this rship.. i knew many times he wanted to end it... but i didn't let him end it... i try to hold it longer and longer... tonight.. i realised that... holding it longer might make us worst... maybe taking a break, things might be better... well.. i dunno... i', still hanging on to the hope... (but baby, dun let it bother u... u can continue to move on...)

tears continue to flow in my heart... tears continue to run down my cheeks... ask me to forget u is so difficult... after all the feelings i have put in... after all that we have gave out to one another... suddenly it feels weird... feels like someone emptied my heart... and then refilled it with loneliness... hate that feeling...

still have a few more days to half a year.. but we didn't see thru it.. tt's not important...

i think we give each other some time... and i hope i will still be the one...

i know tonight greetings would be different from ytd... different from the first time we knew each other...

but i really hope when i need someone to be there...and i find u... i hope u will be there...

i wonder if ur heart aches as much as i do...

i wonder if u would forget me so easily... i hope not...

time shall tell...

it's 3.08pm.. 11th August 2006

today woke up as usual... late as usual... but well.. it's my last day... who cares... =P

gonna go kbox tonight... with yc, robin, liner, susan, deni, and jumon... yah... trying to stay positive abt the outing... cuz seems like the gurls are not very enthu about it except it... (ps: i'm a gal) they are just a different grp of people... but then.. well... it's gonna be freaking $26+++... but wells... shall enjoy to the fullest man....

baby's now at suntec.. mish him loads... i enjoy thinking of him.. he just makes my day... ytd.. went with him to eat... think he didn't quite enjoyed the food.. but i think he knew i wanted to eat.. *muacks baby* then we took mrt to harbourfront then back to kovan.. hahaz.. just enjoy being with him...

called and sms baby.. hope he wun feel irritated... but i know he wun... hahaz...

alrights.. gonna go back to slacking and gaming...

-lubsbabylots-

Oh peleese... 12.01am 11th August 06

it's like so much stuffs happened and too little hrs a day...

went out with my band committee ytd.. think it was the first time we went out together... all 9 of us... COOL!!! and just to make Jasper so guilty again, i shall repeat.. he TOTALLY forgotten abt the outing when he was the one who keep asking chiu to remind the rest of the com abt the outing.. =) even Brian was like shooting him the whole time... =) hahaz... Rawks Brian!!! We all were like trying to "exploit" Jasper... haha.... and my new name is Jasplyn, Jasperlyn... whichever you guys like.. --> thanks to fauzi and ke wei...

To fauzi and ke wei, i wasn't the latest... so not my treat.. hahaz... alrights.. we had quite fun time eating and eating... then didn't actually know whr to go... so we ended up eating again... at Maestro Bistro... They order, i kop.. hahaz... superly on diet... feeling so bloated and flabby...

And GOOD NEWS! tmr's my last day of work.. or rather later is my last day of attachment... then i'm gonna enjoy...!!!! Can't wait till the start of my detachment.. BUT BUT... still got report to rush... suay siaz... wtd.. but i gonna do chiong work.. =)

and i love baby... *hugs*

Baby.. It's us.. =)

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craps... 11.56am 07/08/06

it's monday.. and it's blue... work just sucks hell lot... know y? cuz it's monday! alrights.. i'm repeating.. nuff said.. the office is so quiet.. and i've did some complains abt some matters... but they are not doing anything abt it yet... well.. guess the asses are growing but the nice people are just dying away. and ppl juz beome weirder and meaner day by day. let's wait and see if anything would happened...

why wouldn't they like let me go without informing the HR... apply for illegal leave... i have nothing to do here...

been going thru alot in the past one week.. kinda gruelling for me... hell wonder why i have to go thru that... it's crazy... maybe i should go to a pyschologist soon... hell know what's wrong with me...

now movie galore... watch 2fast2furious... it's like woah! 2fast2furious tokyo drift was pure kick ass.. DK and more DK's.. lol.. go figure... and dragon tiger gate was an over-rated kungfu action... with loads of CG.. i seldom enjoy such movies... yeah!

i still have 3 days less national day to the start of my detachment... hooray!

back to work where i slack and ppl breathes hard.. OMG..

J A Y and J A S

baby.. i love you...

ni ne?

speaking the unspeakablei

this is my second blog entry in half an hour.. anyway, guys... the timing for the entries is all wrong.. just realised... shall go fix it later.. when i feel like it..

my F key is gonna spoil soon.. typed it too many times.. the keys wun work soon...

anyway, abt the timing thing, i've decided to add in the time i blogged... til i'm not so lazy and not so moodless to do it...

i'm still patiently waiting for him to tok to me... wo xi wang ta bu shi ying wei bu xiang gen wo shuo hua, suo yi zhi gen ta de peng you shuo hua... wo hai zai deng...

...?yhw tub eromyna denots smees nud eh

hm...

what's wrong with baby...

he's so emo..

is emo fun?

can emo be eaten?

why must people be emo?

i get emo too...

tt's the time i hate..

emo give rise to problems..

and emo can't be filling to our tummys...

emo no good..

hope baby happy happy soon... cuz he no feelings now..

it's a sunday

Woke up with u beside me.. so good.. so comfy...

then reach home realise my phone's not with me...

well well...

then went online and saw ur nick.. i knew it was referring my matter... i knew it...

dun wan u to feel that way... i dunno what ta say.. but just dun wanna u feel that way... (.)

i wan to know that u love me, cuz i love u too..
______________________________________________________

Maid's home... she's cleaning windows or us.. haha... tt's why no one's bugging me... which is awfully fantastic...

Yeeppiiieeessss

will...

will u get worried if i didn't sms, call, contact u the whole day?

or will i be the one getting tensed and worried over u not finding me?

his answer: i dunno... depends ba...

(me is crazy, me blogging stupid things, me just misses me, wanna hear his voice, wanna him by my side, wanna pour out my unhappiness to him, wanna use his shoulders to cry on, wanna him tell me that everything is alright, wanna him tell me that i still have him, wanna him....)

pathetic...

this was my long lost blog... it's so frigggggggggin pathetic... well well... shall use it again.. randomly typed in some address and mine came out.. FATE.. frenz.. u guys can't see previous post, cuz i have deleted it.. hafta move on.. rights? i think this blog has been stagnant for like 2 yrs!! oh gosh.. arh... heckit...

update:

my name is still jas...

just 2 yrs older...

graduating from NP soon...

still likes to be showered with hugs and kisses...

prolly a lil putting on weight...

already attached...

now still having attachment...
__________________________________

Actually life hasn't really changed much to me.. except that just having more and more resposibilities at home.. which is bad i think... esp. to a girl like me...

I have successfully completed 2 yrs of my poly life.. still have this few more days to end of my misery and go back to sch for my last semester... studying is still the best!

And i have not mentioned that my bf now is Mr Jay Tang. Yeah... he rawks!

He not only scolds me, says me, provokes me, but he also loves me, dotes me, pampers me at the same time... yupz.. go on, ask me and i will tell u i just love him...

jaslynlovesjay